I could do math and read from the age of 3. But then spelling and math went out the window when I hit about 9. For years, I was told that I was a “little professor” but stupid as well. I was only good in very narrow fields of focus. When I got older and went to Uni to do my science degree, I knew I had to do maths, so I worked my butt off and ended up with 98% average marks in algebra and calculus. I just have to keep revisiting my basic maths rules. But ask me to add up in my head or something and I am hopeless because I get numbers around the wrong way.

It could be that same for language with your husband. He just has to find a way of learning that is best for him.

I wish you guys the best and take care,

Loup

Xan says:

It’s about time the world came to recognize us for what we are and adjusted to us, instead of treating us like freaks!

And I DO agree with you: Aspergers is NOT a doom dx. The way I see it (if I may quote Mr. Monk): It’s a gift, and it’s a curse!

Being the way I am, I am quite happy. Sure, I’d love to improve things – and work to do so – but I would not like to fundamentally alter who I AM: removing my Aspie nature would do so.

I think that yes, Aspies develop different skills, and ‘overall’ skills, at a different rate from the general population. That is why things commonly taught to little kids are not ‘grasped’ by Aspies…and if they are never re-visited, these skills may never end up being acquired!

In other words, ‘neurotypical’ kids would be just as lost if they were thrown into a social and educational system which based its expectations and developmental milestones on Aspie kids…. They would never learn social skills, because these would not be taught them at an age at which their brain can process them. They would have trouble with many school subjects, because curricula would be ordered quite differently. Teaching methods would be very different. Test systems would be oral for much of gradeschool – written tests would not even be started until grades 7/8… And gym classes would focus on chess, and other ‘proper’ sports! Gym would CERTAINLY not involve irrational group sports, like soccer, basketball, and so-on. Calculating the trajectory of a projectile might be more valued than actually catching that ball…

My goal in writing about my personal experiences with Aspergers (and I was ‘pushed’ by a few teachers and a high-school principal acquaintances of mine) is to show how differently I (and my kids/friends) perceived things, how differenly we processed them – and how to develop ‘coping skills’ in order to live in at least partial ‘harmony’ with the age-appropriate expectations of kids in our society. Not because we need to cope with Aspergers – rather, because we need to interact and at least partially fit in to a world on non-Aspies.

After all, if a kid – who is not dumb at all, just learns differently and at different rates – keeps being frustrated in ‘everything’ – school and social relationships, it is possible this person will ‘shut down’ and stop trying….that did happen to me for a few years. I would NOT wish it on my worst enemy…

But, many Aspies can use the ‘Aspie uniqueness’ to achieve things other people would find difficult – seemingly effortlessly! Yet, they just have to get to that ‘higher’ point where they CAN start doing it – and still be ‘undamaged’ … that is, WILLING TO TRY! Having the confidence to try! Not getting there already convinced by ‘everyone’ – parents, teachers, peers – that they are a spaz and an idiot and a weirdo who can’t possibly succeed at anything…

Let me give you an example. I was successful in my professional field. When I had my kids, I took time off to raise them. As they were getting older, the headhunters started calling, with 6-figure jobs they tried to entice me to (Hi-tech world, C-level positions). But, I know I am obsessive, and I could not commit to a job where I would be this very involved….not yet, anyway! Not really listening and misunderstanding the situation, my dad – honestly and ardently trying to be helpful to me – came over with a brochure showing a basic accounting course. Why? He thought that if I took that course, then perhaps somebody would hire me… And he was very encouraging, trying to explain he believed in me, and I might be able to handle basic accounting skills….it was not beyond me…I should try!

Encouragement like this can be deadly to one’s self-perception!

Which is why I am hoping to break this cycle….show people the tools I used, and tools which helped my kids, to break out of this (perhaps too late for those who knew me as a child…) image, because I do think that the very things that hinder Aspies when they are expected to fit it with other kids, are the very things that CAN help them rise above the crowd!

Also, Asperger’s Syndrome isn’t a doom dx. For example, Carol Gray and Dr. Attwood put together this document called “The Discovery of ‘Aspie’ Criteria.” – http://www.thegraycenter.org/sectionsdetails.cfm?id=38

Really good.

In addition, there are several signinficant non-OCD traits that Monk exhibits. I am not a professional in this field, so this is just my personal, untrained opinion…

But when you observe how Mr. Monk is unaware that he is doing EXACTLY the behaviour he criticized others for, how he is unable to read body language and facial expressions (and thus remains in the dark as to how his behaviour affects others), the way he ‘replays’ memories as if these were videos….how he can notice details and fit these into a larger, underlying pattern, how ‘full engagement’ in fulfilling a task can cause him to overcome his phobias – these are all qualities/traits (it’s a gift, and it’s a curse – depending which side of the divide you are looking at it from and the time of observation). And they are also traits associated with Aspergers…

By the way: I LOVE your graphic!

I will answer some of your questions in my next post – it is a little ‘longish’! ;o)

ps: i’m a trekkie too! and i love watching the big bang theory, hilarious!