Comments on: Aspies: if I know it, everyone knows it

By: Nick

Nick — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 04:34:22 +0000

Wow … no wonder going through the internet / blog-o-sphere for thousands and thousands of hours has made life so difficult.

Can you imagine what happens when an Aspie web developer meets isolation and internet truth movement? Ugh.

Xan says: Yes, I can. ‘Ugh’ indeed…

But remember: it may be a curse – but it is also a gift!

By: mama mara

mama mara — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:17:28 +0000

Found you via Jeff Deutsch, and I’m so glad. As the parent of an Aspie teen who falls in the “contempt for everyone who doesn’t think like him” category, I hope one day my son will be ready to deal with this “blind spot”. You give me hope!

By: Jeffrey Deutsch

Jeffrey Deutsch — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:06:49 +0000

Hello Xanthippa, That's an excellent post about how Aspie thought patterns can, if expressed inappropriately, foul up relationships with NTs. I've blogged about it (and linked back to this page) here. In general, I write about how Aspies and autists can relate better to NTs - and vice versa. Hat-tip to Miss Aspielicious for pointing me here. Please, keep up the good work Xanthippa! Jeff Deutsch

By: sjbraun

sjbraun — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:35:28 +0000

I enjoyed reading this. My husband has Aspergers (he doesn’t know it). We’ve been married 12 years and in the past few I figured out his diagnosis. It’s really rough, especially because we have 3 kids and I feel like I always have to explain his behavior to them.

Thanks!
Susan
http://www.girlsinwhitedresses.wordpress.com

By: Flamingo Steve

Flamingo Steve — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 03:07:22 +0000

Too true! It really does feel like I’m from another planet. It seems hard to believe that I speak the same language as those around me!

I think that it’s a combination of the above. There are some things that Western society really IS wrong about. There are some things that Aspies are wrong about individually, and there are some things, of course, that NTs get wrong too. And there are some things our NT neighbor may know that simply aren’t getting through to us, or vice versa, because we think in different ways.

While it isn’t arrogance to assume that everyone is wrong, it isn’t the first assumption that should be arrived at. It has happened in history in terms of empirical science (the earth is spherical, and it revolves around the sun. Things like that), but in daily living it’s best to try to come to an understanding first.

As for speaking out, I must admit that I’m still trying to find a balance. I’m still not sure when the right time to speak out is and when to remain silent; it’s partially fear-motivated, but I also wonder what my opinion can add to the other person’s understanding. If I am about to speak in anger, I wait a few moments before I’m about to speak; if it retains some sort of ethical importance, I’ll pipe in.

By: Rae Ann

Rae Ann — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:23:43 +0000

“if I know this, then everyone knows this”

All my life, even now, I find myself thinking this same thing. It is sometimes difficult to remember that not everyone knows or thinks like me. I’ve never been diagnosed with Aspergers, but maybe I am one. From what I’ve read here it would explain lots of things.

Xanthippa says:

I’m glad this was helpful! Please, keep in mind that ‘Aspergers’ is not one of those ‘on/off’ things. When you have the flu virus – you have the flu. If you do not have it – you do not have the flu.

Aspergers is a set of ‘traits’ which are presents to some degree within every member of the population… What makes it a ‘syndrome’ is just a measure of the degree…

Sort of like ‘fat’. If you are ‘fat’ – you can be a little fat – but still have some ‘subcutaneous blubber’. Or you can be ‘obese’. Or you can be ‘morbidly obese’. Now, a ‘fat’ person just ‘this side’ of the ‘obese chart’ will be more like a person who is ‘just that side’ of that chart – they will be more similar to each other than to the ‘morbidly obese’ person – but one of them qualifies as ‘obese’ and the other one does not….

Am I making any sense here? It sounded much clearer in my head: Obviously, IF it makes sense to ME, it MUST make sense to EVERYBODY!!! ;0)