A most awesome letter from a parent of an Aspie

I am an Aspie.

I am married to an Aspie.

We have two sons – both of whom have been identified as Aspies.

Not surprisingly, I have some opinions about Asperger’s Syndrome and all the facets of life which affect Aspies.

Every now and then, I have written about the ‘Aspie experience’ and some of the tools I developed to help myself and my sons.  Judging from the bog stats, I really ought to focus more on this – aside from a few  posts (Aisha Ibrahim Dhuhulow and some of the sharia write-ups I’d posted).

Today, I got a most gratifying comment on a post I had written a while back about Aspergers and Writing.  I know, it is a serious self indulgence to wallow in praise, but, if refreshing the post with a new link to this fresh post helps more Aspies, I’m willing to take the flack!

Here is the comment:

I just found your blog.  Wow, wish I had seen this a long time ago.  It should be required reading for all special ed teachers.  My son was not diagnosed until the end of 10th grade (after failing English when previously a straight A student), and we have endured an often contentious relationship with the school’s special ed coordinator and the school psychologist during that time and since.  At the end of his 11th grade year we had the IEP meeting, during which the first one asked him, “can’t you just write something to get it done?”, and the latter called him a snob.  And this is a year down the road!!!  It’s clear that too many of the people that are supposed to be caring for our children in the public school environment are woefully undereducated, and  some also lack the empathy that the unfamiliar accuse the Aspies of not having.  We finally found a teacher in the school who undertstands Aspies (and who admitted privately that she cringed at those statements during the
meeting), and she is wonderful.  My question is why didn’t they allow us access to her last year, when my son had to be assisted by a special education “clerk,” who had no conception of his difficulties or abilites,  who badgered him with “do you want to fail?” comments, and who evidently never bothered to pick up a book and learn about it during that time.  I guarantee you, from my now huge Aspie book library, I know more about the condition than either of the people in that school that were allowed to make decisions about my son’s education, or the person that was directly working with him.  If they had read your post, which would take about 5 minutes, they would have understood.  I think you have explained exactly the problem from the Aspie side–I think this is what my son has been trying to explain to them for 2 years.  So, anyone else with problems with the school:  number one, don’t take it as long as I did, and don’t assume the people in charge will advocate for your child;
number two, print some information from this blog and give it to every teacher, the special ed department, and the principal.  You want to know a funny thing?  My son was one of about 15 kids in the county that was nominated for a National Merit Award due to his test scores on the PSAT (no writing portion, of course).  To apply for the award, the student must write an essay!!!!  He decided to write it about not being able to write essays due to the Asperger’s, and about his difficulties at school due to this.  Somehow I doubt he’ll win, but good for him.  Thanks for explaining something so difficult so well, and I appreciate the time it takes you, trust me!!!!

One Response to “A most awesome letter from a parent of an Aspie”

  1. derek s Says:

    many self proclaimed experts have a narrow textbook knowledge of mental disabilities, but have never personally experienced or put a sufficient amount of effort into learning from people who have.

    certainly, you should write more posts on aspergers in the future.

    Xan says:

    Thank you, I will.

    I don’t know how long it will take me, but I am working on a post about clinical depression in Aspie kids.


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