Xanthippa's Chamberpot

Lifted shamelessly from reddit:

Seated in a rather nice Boston restaurant, a rather elderly lady asked about the catch of the day. After the waiter told her what was being served, she remarked, as little old ladies are sometimes wont to do, “Oh, dear, I really wished I could have gotten scrod.”

The waiter, himself a Harvard man, replied with delight, “Madam, although your request is not an uncommon one, not only have I not before heard it made by a lady but also so exquisitely stated in the future conditional pluperfect subjunctive.”