Aspie humour, music and cats

Not much needs to be said:  just watch the video!

Hat tip:  Dvorak Uncensored

UPDATE: Having visited a friend who has a cat, I attempted to follow the above instructions to the best of my skills and abilities!  Alas, I failed…

I cradled the cat, as shown.  He looked very pleased, and not even a tiny bit ‘annoyed’.

I did the ‘sniffing’ – he closed his eyes, as if with pleasure.

I did the ‘serial kissing’ – after which the cat attempted to rub his cheek on me, as if asking me to show him more affection.

And, he appeared rather immune to the ‘little drop’…

After I let him down, he jumped onto my lap, asking for more – and not a peep out of him!  (Unless purring counts.)

Therefore, I am obligated to report that I have been unable to replicate this procedure successfully…

UPDATE OF THE UPDATE: Having visited another friend, I tested the methodology on her cat.  It worked PERFECTLY!  Awesome cat-yodelling was enjoyed by all!

My personal observation:  pick a slightly finicky cat!

If the cat is ‘too agreeable’ – no sound except for purring will be heard, therefore, no yodeling will result.

If the cat is ‘too finicky’ – you’ll be torn to shreds!  Therefore, the key here is to find a cat with JUST the RIGHT amount of ‘finickiness’ to ‘tell you’ when you are being annoying, but not rip your face off!

Come to think of it, more people should have ‘just’ the ‘right’ amount of ‘finickiness’, too….

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How to write an essay: part 3

Essays are ‘formula-writing’ at its best!  Still, many people go through school without ever learning the ‘formula’…

This series of posts is hoping to explain the ‘formula’ of essay-writing, and break it up into specific, easily comprehended pieces.

Part 1 attempted to explain how to ‘organize’ one’s points prior to starting the process of writing an essay.

Part 2 attempted to explain the ‘skeleton’ of the essay itself and how to get down the ideas/points for each of the main parts.

However, I got a little hung up on the fact that I could not figure out how to import tables into this blog… because I have made all the ‘templates’ in the form of tables… This has slowed me down a little – my apologies.

Since the inability to include ‘tables’ has sidetracked me (to say the least), I have not been as clear as I ought-to have been in explaining the ‘skeleton’ of the essay.  Please, allow me to remedy this by re-stating what the ‘basic structure’ of an essay is and the mechanics of what each ‘bit’ is supposed to accomplish:

Once the main point (title) and point of view have been chosen (or assigned), the rest of the essay needs to be crafted into the essay’s framework:

‘Opening’ paragraph

Role:

  • introduce the topic and explain what point the essay will make.

Mechanics:

  • Introduce the topic.
  • Make the ‘main point’ (of the essay) about it (the topic).
  • Explain how you will prove your point (by mentioning the points in each of the ‘middle paragraphs’=’body of the essay’)
  • Sum up the paragraph/re-state the main point.

‘Body’ of the essay

Role:

  • to provide the ‘proof’ of the opening paragraph.

Mechanics:

  • Typically, the body of the essay will contain 3 paragraphs (this refers .
  • Each paragraph will contain 1 ‘proof’/’support’ of the ‘main point’.
  • The structure of each of these ‘middle’/’body of the essay’ paragraphs will mirror the structure of the essay:  except inside the paragraph, it will be ‘opening sentence’ which introduces the ‘point’ to be made, ‘middle/body of the paragraph sentences’ which presents it and ‘makes the point’, and the ‘closing sentence’ which ties the ‘point’ of the  paragraph to the ‘point of the essay’ and sums up/closes the paragraph.

‘Concluding’ paragraph

Role:

  • Re-state the ‘main point’.
  • Explain how each of the ‘body’ paragraphs proved the ‘main point’. (That is, re-phrase the concluding sentences of the ‘middle’/’body of the essay’ paragraphs and tie them together to the ‘main point’ of the essay.)
  • State that (perhaps alluding to how) the ‘main point’ has ‘been proven’: this‘closes’ the essay.

Now that the ‘greater structure’ of the essay has been re-stated, it is time to address the structure of the individual paragraphs.

These break down into 2 main groups:

  • the ‘opening/closing’ paragraphs
    • their ‘common’ parts consist of:
      • stating the ‘main point’ of the essay – and the ‘point of view’ which the essay will present about the ‘main point’
      • using the ‘proof’/’supporting points’ from the ‘middle’/’supporting point’ paragraphs to illustrate the ‘point of view’ (one’s ‘take’ or ‘twist’ on the ‘main point’)
    • their ‘differences’ consist of:
      • the ‘opening paragraph’ introduces the topic, states the ‘main point’ – with the specific ‘point of view’ – and ‘touches on’ the ways in which this ‘proof’ will be made
      • the ‘closing paragraph’ re-states the ‘main topic’, ties the ‘proof’ from each of the paragraphs in the ‘body of the essay’ to the ‘main point’ (short version of the explanation of how they ‘prove’ the ‘main point’) and state that the point had thus been proven
    • thus, these two paragraphs are ‘mirror images’ of each other:  they both state the same information.  One says ‘it will be demonstrated’ – the other ‘it has been demonstrated’ and the words selected to make this statement need to be different form each other – but complementary to each other….still, the core of both paragraphs remains the same.
  • the paragraphs which form the ‘main body’ of the essay
    • usually, there are 3 paragraphs which form the ‘main body’ of the essay
    • each of these paragraphs focuses on 1 major idea which ‘proves’ or ‘supports’ the ‘point of view’ of the ‘main idea’ which is the focus (point) of the essay
    • each paragraph must be formatted so as to be able to stand on its own, even outside the essay.
    • the first and last sentences of each of these paragraphs must explain how the ‘focus’ of this paragraph and how it relates (supports) the focus of the essay.

In addition, it is important to address the language which is to be used in an essay.

Essays are written in complex sentences with use ‘formal’ language.  This means that no ‘I’ or ‘you’ statements are permitted.

Essays are a presentation of opinions and arguments.  Therefore, all statements such as ‘I think that’ or ‘I feel’ – and similar phrases which define ‘opinion’ are redundant and not permitted in essay-writing.

When utilizing the formal language expected in an essay, it is best to avoid contractions (i.e. write ‘was not’ rather than ‘wasn’t), all forms of slang ans well as colloquialisms.  In most cases, past tense is used.  Of course, this does not apply to any direct quotations which are used as support for the points in the essay.

Hopefully, this will clarify part 1 and 2, while explaining them more clearly.

Note:  this post has been edited to remove some typo’s….thanks to Mrs. Lu for spotting them!
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How to write an essay: part 2

Many students continue to struggle with essay-writing:  unnecessarily so!

Essays are such a structured method of conveying information, they are easily reduced into a ‘formula’ which can simply be filled in with the required information.  In other words, essays follow a very specific, internally repeating pattern.  As such, they are easily mastered – but only if one understands the ‘formula’!

In part 1, I attempted to explain how to organize one’s thoughts in order to clarify the ideas/information which an essay will convey. Lacking a better term, I called this the ‘why’ of the essay:  as in, ‘why’ is the essay being written (what ideas it is meant to convey).

Here, in part 2, I will provide some practical tools for the ‘how’:  the mechanics of the writing of an essay.  More specifically, I will describe the ‘original form’ of the method which I have tried and used and successfully taught to others.  (There is another ‘form’ of this method, which I have developed with the help of my older son who is an Aspie, and which works well for him….and when I write it up, I will link it here.)

Of course, some essays can be very complex:  here, I am attempting to establish the basics.  Therefore, I will present ‘the essay’ in the ‘barest’, ‘most basic’ form (or, at the level most high-school teachers expect an essay to be written).

OK, let’s begin!

When writing an essay, it is essential that the whole work maintains a central focus. (A formalized statement of this ‘main idea’ will function as the title of the essay.)  That is why it is useful to write the ‘main idea’ or ‘focus’ of the essay in a single expression:  in order to retain the focus throughout the essay, it will be referred to over and over.

In its barest form, an essay can be broken down into 2 parts:

  1. Stating the ‘main idea’/’point of view’ of the essay
    • this will form as the basis of the ‘opening paragraph’ (where it will be ‘introduced’) as well as the ‘closing paragraph’ (where it will be ‘summed up’).
  2. Providing evidence to support this ‘main idea’/’point of view’.  Most essays (at the beginner level) require 3 major ‘supporting’ ideas.
    • these will form the ‘body’ of the essay
    • each of these 3 points will become a separate paragraph
    • the eventual ‘focus’ of each of these paragraphs will be ‘how’ this particular ‘piece of evidence’ relates to the ‘main idea’ and supports the ‘point of view’.

Many students find it useful to put their ideas into a chart – either as ‘single words’ or ‘expressions’ or ‘point forms’.  Turns out, I can’t figure out how to insert a chart into this blog…but, if I could, it would look (with different formatting) something like this:

  • ‘main idea’
    • the focus of the essay:
      • ………………………………………………………………………………………….
    • re-stating the focus in formal way becomes the title of the essay:
      • ………………………………………………………………………………………….
  • ‘main idea’ + ‘point of view’ (step 1 from above)
    • this will form the core of the ‘opening paragraph’ as well as the ‘closing paragraph
      • ………………………………………………………………………………………….
  • ‘supporting evidence’ (usually, 3 pieces are expected)
    • simple list of 3 ‘ideas’ or ‘pieces of evidence’ which support the ‘main idea + point of view’ of this essay
      • ………………………………………………………………………………………….
      • ………………………………………………………………………………………….
      • ………………………………………………………………………………………….

It is a useful exercise to fill this ‘chart’ out before beginning the actual ‘act of writing’ of an essay:  it aids in maintaining focus and disciplines one to keep the arguments clear and concise.  For some students, this will be more than a simple exercise in discipline and focus:  it is the skeleton of the essay which they will go on to ‘flesh out’.

In part 3, I will address the specifics of how the individual paragraphs are to be structured (and the way in which the structure of each paragraph reflects the pattern of the essay).

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How to write an essay: part 1

Essays are a very structured method of presenting a particular point of view.

How to write an essay remains a mystery to a lot of people! Putting all those ideas onto paper and presenting them as ‘an essay’ can be a daunting task for many people.  (Where do I start? How do I finish?)

Yet, it does not have to be so!  Very often, once the structure of how an essay is ‘supposed to’ be written is explained, writing one becomes easy, because there is a way to break the process down into very easily manageable steps.  However, not every person comes across a teacher who has taken the time to explain this structure and how to ‘get there’…

Not understanding the underlying structure of an essay makes ‘writing essays’, well, difficult (especially Aspies).  Here, I would like to ‘fix’ this:  essays are so very structured that everyone – especially people who do not deem themselves to be ‘writers’ in other ways, can compose effective essays.

There are two fundamental things that need to be understood about ‘essays’:  the ‘why’ and the ‘how’.  (OK, these are more ‘philosophical’ distinctions than anything else – but they do capture at least one aspect of the meaning…)

The ‘how’ is simple mechanics – but the ‘why’ underlies each bit.  So, let’s tackle the ‘why’ first.

The why of an essay (as I am using the descriptive) is the reason for writing it:  its main point, what it is saying and how it is saying it.  Once a person has understood the ‘underlying structure of an essay, many of the steps listed below can be combined, or skipped altogether.  However, listing them separately is one of the ways in which a person can gain an understanding how to build an essay, one little idea at a time.

The why of an essay can be arrived at as follows:

  • Examine the ‘assignement’:  question or statement.
    • Sometimes, the ‘main point’ is assigned, sometimes it is up to the ‘writer’ to define the ‘main point.
    • The ‘point of view‘ – or, the way in which this ‘main point’ is demonstrated (what evidence is cited to support the ‘main point’, how the evidence is presented and how the conclusion is drawn out) – that is always something the ‘writer’ must choose and ‘fulfil‘.

    This ‘main point’ and ‘point of view/means of making the main point’ (for lack of better terms) constitute the ‘reason’ for writing the essay (aside from it having been assigned, that is…).  In other words, they define the main idea which the ‘writer’ will build the essay to convey/bring across.

  • Define the ‘main point’ (unless it is assigned).
    • find a single word (OK, the word can be ‘contorted’ and hyphenated amalgam of a few ‘normal’ words, or it can be an expression:  the main thing about ‘this word’ is that it is the simplest-possible way of expressing the very core of the ‘main point’ which is the central focus of the essay.
      • this ‘main point‘ must be both ‘simple’ and ‘core’, because the ‘main point’ of each of the paragraphs in the essay will be ‘compared’ to it.
      • this ‘main point‘ is the focus of the essay
      • this is what the essay will say
  • Define the ‘way of presenting the main point’ (point of view)
    • write a sentence which defines how the ‘main point‘ will be made.
      • again, the ‘sentence’ is more of a suggestion than a hard requirement:  a phrase or point-form, or any other method which is ‘understandable’ to the ‘writer’ is acceptable, because this is all part of the ‘brainstorming’ or ‘rough work’ that so many teachers request to be handed in along with the ‘good copy’ of the essay, to prove the person actually did the work (and to demonstrate to the teacher the chain of thought that took the essay from ‘concept’ to ‘finished product’:  many teachers actually assign marks to these steps…so, if they are not handed in, the marks reserved for these steps cannot be earned…
      • the main goal of this step is to clarify in one’s mind the method (reasoning, proof, etc.) of how the ‘main point’ will be presented
      • once this is clarified, putting it down will help ‘the writer’ maintain focus, because it will be available for constant ‘feedback’…and, as subsequent steps ‘ought to’ be compared back to both the ‘main point’ and ‘the main sentence’ (which, for lack of a better term, is how I refer to this step for the purposes of this post.
    • This section will serve as the basis for the ‘opening’ and ‘closing’ paragraphs of the essay.
  • Gather the evidence
    • this step involves ‘putting down’/’brainstorming’ the pieces of evidence which will be used to support/demonstrate/prove the ‘main idea’ of the story
    • again, this can be done in two steps:  first, as ‘one word’ concept, then as the more concrete ‘simple sentence/point form’ (which might list the page numbers of quotes to be referenced, and so on).
    • while it is recommended (for the sake of self-discipline) that the individual points be put into the form of simple sentences, this is in no way a requirement:  point form is just as effective.
    • it is recommended (in order to ‘fit’ the expectations of ‘most’ essay assignments) that 3 major pieces of evidence be listed.
      • While most of these ‘major points’ can be expanded, it is important to clarify in one’s mind (and putting it down is a good way of achieving this – and being able to refer back to it) the main thrust each of these major pieces of evidence will make.
      • The ‘minor points’ or ‘development’ of the ‘major points’ will come during a later step.  They are very important – but it is also easy to go ‘off topic’ and loose the focus of the essay while ‘developing’ these bits.  Therefore, it is better to put all of the ‘minor points’ or ‘developments’ of these ‘major points’ into a section marked ‘notes’, not list them as the ‘major points of focus’.

      These points will go on to form the ‘body’ of the essay (the paragraphs in between the opening and closing paragraphs):  each one of the ‘major points’ of evidence will have one paragraph of the essay devoted to it.

This should (I hope) explain the ‘why’ of essay-composition:  if it does not, or if it is confusing (or just plain wrong), please, let me know and I will do my best to explain/fix it.

The next post (link to be inserted) will address the ‘how’ of essay-writing.

Aspergers: ‘price’ and ‘punishment’

People with Asperger’s syndrome (Aspies) process information a little differently than most other people.  Some of us (well, OK, ‘we the Aspies’) would say that we process information much more logically!

This is a gift – but is also is a curse:  very often, we will arrive at a completely logical (and rather obvious) conclusion which is not only obvious to ‘us’, but somehow completely inaccessible to ‘others’.  Perhaps this is due to their social programming – I do not know:  I’m still trying to figure out the unpredictable reactions of ‘neurotypicals’ (NTs).

Let me give an example which demonstrates this most clearly and understandably.

Please, consider the way we (as a society) ‘forbid’ things.

We have a list of behaviours which are socially forbidden: from horrible things like murder to little things like ‘talking in class’. Oh, we do not treat each transgression equally (though SOME Aspies thing that might have made more sense) – our society considers some much more serious than others.  Yet, the fact remains, these various behaviours are all ‘forbidden’.

Aspies can deal with that:  IF, that is, we are given a very accurate explanation as to which behaviours are forbidden (often, explaining ‘why’ will help us figure out ‘what’ these prohibited behaviours are), and IF we are willing to accept the prohibition (which is most of the time), we WILL  respect it absolutely.

KNOWING that respecting the prohibition is part of the social contract we have with our fellow humans is enough.

However, our society does NOT stop at the prohibition itself!  Perhaps this is some misguided attempt at ‘labeling’ different ‘seriousness’ of transgressions, but the fact remains:  our society ascribes very specific ‘punishments’ to particular transgressions.

Of course, once a ‘punishment’ is assigned to a specific ‘transgression’, it removes that ‘transgression’ from the list of ‘forbidden’ behaviours:  it has become a ‘permitted behaviour with a price’!

I am not sure if I am doing a good job of explaining this to non-Aspies.  I have a hard time putting myself into their position with regard to this and seeing it the way I (and many, many Aspies do).  Perhaps an example would be useful:

This is a true story:  starring none other than my husband!

When my husband was in grade 7, he had a Math teacher who had a rule:  if you got caught talking in class, you had to ‘write lines’ (a full page of:  ‘I will not talk during class.’).

Of course, this made ‘not talking in class’ a thing which was not forbidden – rather, it was a thing which was ‘purchased’ with a page of ‘lines’.  And, liking to talk in class, he knew he would have to pay the price for it at one point or another.  Therefore, being the intelligent and foresightful person that he is, he would not indulge in an ‘expensive’ behaviour without having the ‘means to pay for it’, so to speak…

Thus, when the teacher ‘caught him’ talking in class and ordered him to write a page of ‘lines’, my husband (well, he was not my husband then, he was in grade 7 – but, you know what I mean) pulled a page of ‘lines’ from his knapsack and handed it over to the teacher!

For some weird reason, many teachers think this type of a thing is a ‘provocation’ of some type:  the reason for this escapes me (after all, the price was pre-set by the teacher), but I have come to understand that many NTs think that many very straigt-forward and logical reactions are somehow ‘provocations’.  Perhaps it is that they do not like to be reminded of the fact that they skipped a logical step along the way…

Whatever the reason, the teacher said something to the effects:  ‘Ah, so you think you are so clever, having your ‘lines’ all pre-done!  Well, in this instance, the punishment is TWO pages of ‘lines’!’

To which my husband responded – logically, I think – by producing a second sheet of ‘lines’ and handing them in  to the teacher!

THAT seemed to end things…

Again, I am not sure if I am explaining things in an ‘understandable’ way:  what I am trying to say is that, once an action has a specifically defined punishment associated with it, it is not really forbidden any longer:  to the contrary!  It is permitted, provided YOU are WILLING to PAY the pre-efined PRICE!

Therefore, it is not ‘advisable’ to have a ‘specific’ penalty assigned to a ‘misbehaviour’, when it comes to Aspies!

Now, I DO understand that for most NTs, knowing the ‘punishment’ is a part of the whole ‘consequences of actions’ bit – and therefore, it is a ‘good’ thing to define the exact punishment for various ‘forbidden’ behaviours.  Yet, I ALSO expect NTs to take a look at the logical conclusion:  once you put a ‘price’ on something, it is no longer ‘prohibited’, just ‘expensive’…

The moral of this post…

If something is ‘prohibited’, keep it ‘prohibited’ and do NOT make it merely ‘expensive’ by putting a ‘price’ on it!!!

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Apergers and reading – practical strategies

Recently, I received this comment on my Aspergers and Reading post which I thought deserved a longer response… one which might be helpful to other parents (or Aspies) out there!

My Aspie son is 10 and we have homeschooled since first grade. He was extremely behind in his Reading skills in K and made very little progress. Teaching him has been very trying. He is resistant to reading at all. He is able to read about 200 common sight words on cards, but then can’t seem to read them in text. Generally if he sees a word like “has” he will not recognize it, but will get the word if I spell it. I have no idea why this works for him and I haven’t been able to find more information on how to capitalize on this strength. He has an incredible vocabulary, very good comprehension, and generally is at grade level for other language skills.

It sounds to me like there are at least two separate problems your son is dealing with.  One is the mechanics of the reading – but that is the simpler one of them to solve (and the one I will address in this post).  The most pressing problem here, the one that is the greater stumbling block, is that it sounds like your son has a bit of a ‘block’ when it comes to ‘reading’.  Until that is solved, addressing the mechanics of teaching him to read will do very little.

I am basing this presumption on the fact that you wrote that your son is resistant to reading.

I understand!!!

And, I have done my best to address this ‘block’ in an earlier post: Aspergers – ‘reluctance’/’freezing up’ explained. It might also be useful to read my posts on how I motivated my older son to learn how to read (he is now a speed-reader, with 100% comprehension of what he reads at a rate of ‘2 paperbacks/day’…) and how I tought my younger son to speak

Now, to the ‘mechanics’ of teaching an Aspie to read:

Aspies like rules.

We like to apply rules.  Especially (or, perhaps, only) rules that make ‘sense’ to us.

This makes the world make sense to us.

However, we have a very bad memory.  Especially ‘rote learning’ is something we are poor at – much poorer than our intellectual peers among ‘neurotypicals’.  Yet, if we ‘figure something out’ ourselves (i.e. our mind creates an ‘internal rule’ for it), we retain the knowledge better than our non-Aspie peers. I explored some of this in  Aspergers and memory – part 2: rote memory vs. reasoning.

One thing in the comment ‘jumps out’ at me:sight words on cards”!!!

This suggests that the Aspie child is being taught to read by ‘whole-word method’.  Using this ‘technique’, a child is not taught to read by synthesizing the word from its constituents sounds.  Instead, one is expected to recognize ‘the visual symbol’ of the ‘whole word’.  This may be partially plausible for people who have truly amazing memories, but – in opposition to the fanciful theory that spawned this idea of  ‘holistic perception’, the practice reduced ‘reading’ to ‘rote memorization’ of ‘words’ as ‘pictograms‘.

In the words of one critic of the ‘whole-word’ approach to teaching reading and literacy (my emphasis):

My research pinpoints three factors that effectively render Whole Word null and void.

1) English is vast, almost a million words and names. A child learning Whole Word is aiming for a mere 800 words a year, thus guaranteeing that the child is illiterate through high school. Real literacy probably requires a vocabulary of more than 50,000 words; virtually no human could memorize that many ideographs, which is what Whole Word turns our words into.

2) A second obstacle you never see mentioned is that while Chinese ideographs are written in only one way, all English words routinely appear in multiple forms–lower case, UPPER CASE, Mixed Cases, scripts, handwriting, and exotic typefaces. Imagine how bewildering this profusion would be for a child.

3) English, like Greek and Latin, is an alphabetic language. Sounds are built into every nook and cranny. If you force a child to ignore these sound-clues, and focus only on design-clues, the child will probably experience great frustration and may well develop a reading disability, such as dyslexia.

–   Bruce Deitrick Price

Now, this is an observation of ‘neurotypical’ children – ones whose propensity for ‘memory’ or ‘rote’ learning varies greatly.  Children with Aspergers fall into the ‘low-rote-learning’ and ‘high-rule/comprehension learning’ category – we are talking the ‘2 standard deviations from the mean’ area here…where this method would fail an ‘average’ kid…  Trying to teach an Aspie kid to ‘read’ using ‘sight cards’= ‘whole word method’ is a guarantee for failure.

So, what do I suggest?  Phonics?

Well, it is not a bad beginning – for an Aspie child ‘starting out’.  Once some reading skill has been attained, one needs to be a little more creative and tailor the ‘method’ to the individual child.  Phonics alone will not be ‘sufficient’ for a child to learn to read English (though it might be perfectly adequate in languages where there is less variation in the way individual letters are pronounced).

The key to success for this child is also something contained in the comment:  “Generally if he sees a word like “has” he will not recognize it, but will get the word if I spell it.”

This seems a pretty good indication – extrapolating from the short comment – that this child falls into the ‘#2’ category of the criticism ‘whole word method’ received from Dr. Price, above!!!

If the word is in a ‘familiar form’, on the ‘cue-card’, he can ‘remember it’ – but within a text, where the presentation is altered, the word appears so ‘different’ that he has no ‘means’ of deciphering what the word is!!!  It must be so very confusing and frustrating for this child….

Whatever the reason, the “will get the word if I spell it” is the key to the solution!!!

If it ‘works’ for him to hear you, the parent/teacher ‘sound it out’, then the next logical step in learning to read himself is to teach him to ‘sound it out himself’!

Now, we just have to ‘find the right lock’…

It is difficult for me to guess how well this particular 10-year-old Aspie handles other, non-language related tasks:  these can (and should) be ‘harnessed’ as the ‘vehicle’ through which to ‘unlock’ this.  So, I am going to make a few ‘blind’ suggestions and hope one – or a combination of a few – will help.

First and foremost, it is essential to ensure that the Aspie is familiar with all the different letters, the various ways they are pronounced (not just the ‘one way’ as ‘recited’ in the alphabet’).  Included in this must be all the ‘two letter’ sounds:  it is best to teach these as a ‘double-letter’, matter-of-factly, not making a big deal about it.  Just another rule… when they appear together, the ‘double-letter’ sound takes priority.  These ‘double letters’ will include things like ‘ch’, ‘sh’, ‘th’, ‘ee’ and so on.  If the child does not know them, use games to teach them – and read them out loud every time they are encountered (separate from surrounding sounds).

Independantly of (but, hopefully, complementing) learning to read the ‘sounds’ above, it will help to play games ‘picking out sounds’ in words.  You might have a ‘th‘ day:  encourage the child to identify any object (or word) in the house – or wherever you happen to be – to identify anything with ‘th’ in it by over-eaggerating the sound of ‘th‘ as they say the word.  For example:  ‘TH-umb!’ or ‘TH-ank you’.  Do not introduce it as a ‘reading exercise’, but rather as a game.  Get other family members involved.  Laugh at the exaggeration:  it’s the joke of the day!

The goal here is to use this child’s audio-processing preference to begin to identify the sounds – and groups of sounds – that make up the words we use – without any reference to reading or anything visual.  Aspies learn best using rules:  if they learn the ‘rule’ of the ‘sounds’ which make up a specific word, recognizing the written symbols for these ‘sounds’ will make it easier to ‘decipher back’ the ‘full sound’ – and thus read the word.

It is harder to play this game with vowels – ‘see’ sounds like ‘sea’ and so on, and one does not want to set the child up for failure by trying to ram down the differentiation in letters, when there is no ‘sound’ basis to do so.  Avoid the problem by ‘searching for ‘ee’ sound’ – regardless of how it is spelled!  That can come later…

Next, let’s get to ‘reading’.

Start by using groups of 3-4 letter words which ‘sound’ similar, but alter one letter only.  Words like ‘cat’, ‘hat’, ‘sat’, ‘bat’ – and so on – should be introduced as a ‘group’.  Do NOT introduce any exceptions at this time.  The idea is to reinforce the ‘rule’ that they ‘sound’ the same – except for the ‘beginning sound’…or, later, in other groups (e.g. ‘hot’, ‘hop’, ‘hock’) they share the ‘ending sound’… but NOT ‘how’ – ‘how’ would be grouped with ‘now’, ‘brown’ and so on.  Eventually, alter the ‘middle sound’, like ‘map’ and ‘mop’, ‘hip’ and ‘hop’, ‘tip’, ‘tap’ and ‘top’ – and so on.

It is essential that – because he is ‘audio-processing’ – the young Aspie first learns to sound out each word, one letter at a time.  And, it is important to teach the Aspie to listen to himself say each letter/’sound group’!

The second most important step in learning to read fluently is to transfer this skill to ‘similar’ words. That is the point of the ‘group’ of ‘similar’ words:  Aspies can ‘grasp’ the rules.  The idea here is for the Aspie to LEARN:  NOT to READ a particular word, but to LEARN to CREATE A RULE of pronunciation for a particular sequence of letters!

(Aside:  recently, my mom admitted to me that she can only read IF she says each letter out loud and then processes the sound…even if she ‘says it’ only in ‘her mind’.  Without going through this ‘virtual sounding-out’ of each letter, my mom – who spent decades as an award-winning teacher of biology, who succeeded in developing new and demonstrably successful teaching methods in getting all children interested – and successful – in science, while she also taught gym, art and languages…and continues to teach art to this day – is unable to make sense of written words in any language without resorting to ‘sounding out’ each letter!!!  Yet, she speaks quite a few languages fluently!!!  In other words, many professionally successful people can – and do – succeed using ‘sounding out’ as their ‘coping mechanism’ to process ‘visual information’ when their brain will only effectively process ‘audio information’….  Did I mention ‘Aspergers’ is very hereditary????)

It is an extremely useful tool for Aspies in this situation (especially if ‘sounding it out’ is just ‘not enough’) is to use other ‘bits of the brain’ to help get the ‘information to be processed’ to the right ‘processing bit of the brain’. Using the ‘saying it out-loud’ method helps, because it engages the ‘audio’ input of the brain:  if there is a problem/blockage in the ‘visual-processing-passing-information-to-language-processing’ bit of the brain, the act of hearing one-self ‘say’ the letters will help by-pass this – even if one eventually trains himself/herself to only say it ‘in their mind’!

Audio-processing – as in ‘sounding out’ – is only one of these methods.  It is easy, well understood, and as the person learns it, they can also learn to attenuate the volume at which the ‘letters’ are ‘deciphred’, until the voice can only be heard inside one’s own head.  Yet, if that does not work, there are other mechanisms one can try.  And, this next one has been particularly successful in helping several Aspies I know. (This advice comes from an aunt-in-law who, as a professional educator, headed a large school-board’s ‘special education – with particular focus on Aspergers – section’ – and whose ‘brain’ I often ‘pick’ for help… )  Actually, I was shocked at how well this worked for many of the adult Aspies I know…

When looking at (or hearing, or ‘sounding out’) a letter (or a phone number, or a new name – for that matter), use a finger of one hand to trace it on the palm of the other hand.

This introduces two new methods of bringing the information to one’s brain:  the process of writing (which, I must admit, is what I use as my personal ‘memory aid’… I often ‘take notes’ while speaking to someone, not because I will ever read them, but because the ‘act of writing’ something down will help me remember it) as well as the process of ‘feeling it written’ on the palm of the hand are two other, tactile ‘ways’ to ‘bypass’ the ‘blockage’ many of us Aspies have in our ‘reception centres’.  Alternately, the young Aspie can ‘trace’ the letter on very fine sand-paper, to create the ‘tactile input’…(while working in a controlled environment).  It sounds crazy, but – try it!  It just might w0rk!

Next – and this will require some significant ‘rule learning’ by most native ‘English speakers’ – introduce the actual rules of pronunciation in English!  For example, the difference in the way a vowel is pronounced (‘open’ vs. ‘closed’) when it is followed by one consonant, or by two consonants, or by one consonant and then a vowel, and so on.

I realize most ‘English-as-a-first-language’ schools today (to their shame) do not teach these rules, but that does not mean the rules do not exist.  In most non-North-American schools of English-as-a Second-Language, these rules are taught as a matter of fact:  in order to properly teach an Aspie how to read, it is essential that one becomes familiar with these rules, and is comfortable explaining and teaching them.  English pronunciation is nowhere near as ‘random’ as many native-English-speakers seem to think…  So, get educated…and get ready!

Once the Aspie has mastered the basics of reading, it is time to introduce English grammar:  without a ‘formal presentation’, we will not ‘grasp’ it!  So, please, take pity on us and actually teach us the rules of grammar in a formal, to us easy-to-understand way!  (I used Latin to do this for my older son, with incredible success.)

Next- and this is the beautiful part of this process – is to trace specific words and their roots.  One of the beauties of English (it is my favourite language – along with my ‘mother tongue’) is that it is an ‘amalgam’ language.  As different peoples migrated into Europe, they ‘pushed’ the ‘previous settlers’ further West….and, the British Isles (including Ireland – no prejudice intended) are just about as ‘West’ as one can ‘push’ a population inside Europe… In addition, English adopted words from other ‘literate’ and ‘scientific’ languages, retaining the original language’s convention of how to pronounce the word.  Thus, by learning the ‘roots’ of words, an Aspie can not only gain a pleasurable mastery of English, it can prepare him/her for the further study of other languages!!!

It is all about patterns:  something most Aspies find fascinating…  but only if they are presented it in a particular way!

Of course, this is just the icing on the cake…(if you like icing, that is – many Aspies find icing overpowering!)

Please, do let me know if this works for anyone!!!  (The corrollary, of course, stands as well – please!)

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Bad ‘medical science’…

I hate bad science.

I REALLY hate bad science.

‘Modern medicine’ is riddled with bad science.  As a matter of fact, I think that the term ‘medical science’ is a oxymoron.

Yes, I think the whole ‘medical industry’ is riddled with deep problems.  And, I promise to rant on this later…at great length!  (It is one of my ‘buttons’ – once you ‘push’ it, it is difficult to get me to shut up again…)

Yet, here, I would like to concentrate not on the ‘systemic faults’, but on ‘downright fraud’ in medical science!

Autism is a problem.

Yes, I know that many high-functioning Auties – as well as Aspies – do not consider themselves to be ‘disabled’, or their so-called ‘condition’ to be ‘a problem’.  To the contrary – many think it is an integral part of what makes us ‘us’, and would not wish it changed.  Even regarding it as a problem is offensive to some of us….and some even consider Aspies to be the next step on the evolutionary ladder of humanity.

However, comparing Aspies – and high-functioning Auties – to people who are seriously affected by Autism is like comparing a person who has a little-bit looser ligaments/tendons, and therefore excell in gymnastics and similar things, to a person whose ligaments/tendons are so loose, they cannot stand up, hold a pen or a spoon….  Obviously, a little bit may be an advantage:  a lot may be crippling!

And, perhaps because I am an Aspie – as is all of my immediate family and most of my extended family – I am very interested in any medical study about Autism and/or Aspergers.  (For the uninitiated:  both Aspergers and Autism seem to have a ‘similar cause’… a large number of ‘undifferentiated’ (not ‘properly specialized) cells in the brain.  However, where Auties have most of these ‘undifferentiated’ cells in their frontal lobes, Aspies have them in the amygdala.  This localization difference accounts for the difference in manifestation/’symptoms/characteristics’ – though, in many instances, there is some overlap which makes exact ‘differentiated’ diagnosis difficult.)

OK, re-focusing…

Parents of ‘significantly affected’ kids are often very desperate to help their kids be ‘more normal’.  Of course, this is more pronounced in the more severe cases, which are ‘obvious’ earlier on in life (many ‘high-functioning’ Auties and Aspies can ‘hide’ their symptoms for many years – or they may simply live in an area where the ‘mild’ symptoms are interpreted as ‘being mean’ or ‘antisocial’ and ‘merely’ scar the person for life, without recognizing what is happening).  What I am trying to say is that the more ‘outwardly obvious’ the symptoms are, the more eager loving parents are to find answers.

Many parents are so desperate to help their kids, they will grasp at straws.

There has, for a long time, persisted a perceived ‘connection’ between the MMR vaccine and Autism.  As a parent of a child who had suffered significant motor-nerve damage within days of receiving the MMR vaccine – and being told by his physician that the ‘damage is typical of what he has seen with this vaccine, but he cannot report it because he had been warned that if he reports yet another adverse vaccine reaction, he will be stripped of his ‘Canadian Medical Association’ membership, and thus no longer allowed to practice medicine….and that though this damage is ‘well known’ among doctors, I will never find one brave/reckless enough to testify about this reality in court…’, I have been very keen on ‘any news’ about vaccination in general and the MMR vaccine in particular…

Which is why the following story is so disturbing

The reporter also discovered that Dr. Wakefield’s interest in a MMR vaccine-autism connection began when he was retained as an expert witness two years earlier by a lawyer representing the parent of an autistic child. The parents were planning to sue the MMR vaccine makers because they believed the vaccine caused their child’s illness.  According to Mr. Deer, Dr. Wakefield then launched the Jabs program, the name for clinic that led to the study.  The program was advertised by the lawyer’s firm, and the clinic was not a routine screening, accuses Mr. Deer.


England’s General Medical Council has brought charges of medical misconduct against Wakefield and two other co-authors, Dr. John Walker-Smith and Dr. Simon Murch (the authors who continued to support the paper).  The charges revolve around the ethics of the researchers testing on children, not the new accusations.  The paper, though, has forwarded its results to the board and expects new charges to be forthcoming. {Note:  the new accusations are of having falsified the data…}

So, which is it?

Is this a case of a doctor who truly is telling the truth, but whose team has been ‘bought’ by the people who fund most medical research?  And the ones who would not budge are being subjected to a ‘witch hunt’?

Or, is this a case of a crooked doctor, who had ‘fixed’ the tests to show that the MMR vaccine was ‘at fault’, so he could get money for his testimony?  Have we (parents) wasted time and effort here, when we should have been trying to find other ways to help our kids?

What about ‘my doctor’ (who has since entered dentistry school, because ‘he could not stand the politics subverting medicine today)? Were his claims true?

He also said Ontario MD’s got a substantial monetary ‘bonus’ if they could prove they convinced more than 98% (or was it 95% – it has been a while…high nineghties, anyway) of the parents of their child-patients to allow their children to be vaccinated with the full spectrum of ‘childhood vaccines’?  He said this money did not come from the government, but the vaccine manufacturers.  Was he lying to me? If so, why?  I was not paying him to…  If not, what is the significance of this kickback?

What is a parent left to think?

Perhaps it is not surprising that so many people today mistrust ‘scientists’!  Actually, I would call them all ‘pseudo-scientists’ – but they give a really, really bad name to us all!!!

And, perhaps this explains why I consider the term ‘medical science’ to be an oxymoron….  Medicine may use some scientific tools – but ‘modern medicine’ itself does not, under any definition of the term, qualify as ‘scientific’.  Just like because you ‘live in a house’ does not mean you are ‘an architect’, so ‘using scientific instruments/tests’ does not make medicine ‘science’.

And, something pretending to be science when it is not only undermines the credibility of ‘real, proper science’!!!

Did I mention I hate bad science?!?!?

Aspergers – ‘reluctance’/’freezing up’ explained

Unless someone has worked (or been) an Aspie, it is extremely difficult to appreciate the ‘reluctance’ factor.

To an outside observer, it often looks like ‘failure to parent’ or ‘spoiled brat syndrome’.  I assure you, it is nothing of that sort.

To the parent/teacher, it often looks like obstinance,  pig-headedness, intentionally not paying attention, rudeness, antagonism …well, you name it.

So, how does this ‘reluctance’ actually look?

Typically, when an Aspie is displaying ‘reluctance’ in a given situation, they will just sit or stand there, perhaps nod their head in acceptance when a task is assigned to them, and look kind of ‘not there’ (or, if this is a reminder/nagging to get something done, they may look extremely ‘guilty’ or ‘remorseful’).

Their face may display anything from ‘blank’, ‘looking bored’ or ‘spaced out’, looking ‘straight through you’ or ‘around you’, from ‘uncomfortable’ to ‘guilty’, from ‘doubtful’ to ‘compliant’ to ‘not really there’. Or, especially the younger ones, may throw a fit.  Or, the more resourceful Aspies may try to talk their way out of it.  But, most will have a submissive or passive demeanor.

Then, once the task is assigned, they will not perform it.

It may look like they are willfully avoiding actually doing it.  Fidgeting,  Staring into space – even if it means sitting at their task for hours, without getting any of it done.  Wandering off.  Changing the subject.  Or, just turning into a lump…

It is important to understand where this ‘reluctance’ comes from.  In this post, I will only address one of the many possible reasons for this ‘reluctance’ – but one I think that affects us more often than we’d like to admit.  (A lot of ‘soul-searching went into this one…)

Most Aspies like things to be exact.  According to rules (their rules).  Just so.

Personally, I would rather not start something if I know I cannot do it right – up to my standard, according to the rules.  Not succeeding fills me with very, very bad emotions of failure and inadequacy (something many of us, Aspies, experience more often than other people).  These emotions flood me uncontrollably and, in a weird way, interfere with my ability to think – and ‘do stuff’.

While we feel the same emotions as other people, I suspect that most Aspies process them very differently. We are not good at it.  We process emotions badly, and we know it.  Having an emotion, and processing it badly, and knowing we are failing at yet another thing – well, that makes us feel bad….so we try to hold the emotions back for as long as possible. (That could be why so many people think we don’t have them.)

Of course, when the emotions get strong, we usually fail at controlling them.  The emotion wins and floods through our system.  It won over us!  More failure, more bad feeling…

Many of us agree that we cannot stand being flooded by strong emotions – whatever that emotion may be.  And this is not just on an emotional level – it is a physical reaction.  Once it ‘overcomes us’, we have a sudden release of hormones into our system….and this is bad. It makes us physically feel sick.  Sometimes just a little ‘shaky’, or ‘antsy’, at other times it is stronger…and worse.  I don;t have the proper words to describe it….but it is, in its way, a physical pain.

Perhaps what is worst of all is that it interferes with our ability to think!

We can still see just how badly we are reacting, but can’t seem to stop it because our brain does not work right with all these chemicals streaming through it.  It is a horrible feeling, because by interfering with your ability to analyze, it is – in a very real way – temporarily cutting off a part of the essence that is you!  It is a partial loss of the self!

So, now that we have ‘frozen’, we are to ‘produce’!  Or ‘perform’!

How are we  now supposed to go and finish that very task we found beyond our abilities when our mind was clear and we were able to reason?

It’s just not going to happen…

Of course, what makes this even worse is that once we have felt that way about a certain task, the very memory of it will ‘push the replay button’ – so to speak.  We dread tackling any task that reminds us of our failures, because we will actually do this ‘guilt-flood of emotions-freeze up’ thing to ourselves!!!

The upshot of this is:  once something made us feel bad like this, we will do anything to block it, not ‘replay it’, pretend it does not exist…  And even if we honestly try to tackle the task, we will certainly not be able to concentrate on doing it, because we will be beaten down by the ‘refrain’ in our head:  “you have failed at this”, “you are behind even the ‘stupid’ people by not being able to do this”, “you will just fail again and humiliate yourself”….

I suspect the obsessive-compulsive bit of our brain (most Aspies have an industrial dose of OCD) just keeps us focused on the fact we are ‘bad’ at this, effectively preventing us from actually focusing on the task itself…

The weird thing is…  Sometimes, a perfectly ‘normal’ thing will – somehow – get ‘linked’ in our sub-consciousness with this ‘bad feeling’.  It could be something completely ‘not complex’ – something we easily perform in other situations.  But, here, in this particular instance of it, it has somehow started to ‘trigger’ this ‘negative reaction’.  And, no punishment, no real-life consequence, could make us go through with it and experience this feeling.

For example:  I love to cook, but I will NEVER follow a recipe EXACTLY.  NEVER.  There is no way anyone can make me be bossed around by a anything – especially a piece of paper!  I’ve been bossed around by… and so it goes.  And, once I get off onto this track, I will not cook anything.  The pain is just not worth it – even though I LOVE to cook.

Perhaps I used a bit of a hyperbole to describe this ‘freezing up’… but, in some instances, this is not that much of an exaggeration.  I hope it was helpful in getting across a little bit of the ‘flavour’ of the ‘reluctance’, or ‘freezing up’ we, Aspies, display in performing (or, rather, flatly refusing to perform) some specific tasks.

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Aspergers and learning: understand, not memorize

We, Aspies, each have our own, individual way of learning.  However, in my online searches of how the Aspie brain differs from others, I have come across a few things that might be helpful when designing a learning strategy for an Aspie.

These things create an environment that helps Aspies learn:

  • CLEAR GOAL – having a plan worked out (especially with the Aspie’s help) with very clear, specific goals to be achieved in each learning session and in the overall plan clearly posted or otherwise available for the Aspie to see.
  • CLEAR EXPECTATIONS before a learning session is started, the Aspie knows what will be the task, what goal will be achieved and how it will be achieved.  This is very important to Aspies – no surprises, changes in routine, and so on – even if other people cannot understand why.
  • CLEAR PROGRESS –  clearly indicating progress within each session, as well as the progress each session makes towards the overall goal is very, very comforting and motivating for us, Aspies.
  • CONSISTENT ENVIRONMENT – it may be corny, but having a ‘special place’ with ‘special tools’ used only for learning – even if it is just a simple tray with the ‘special tools’ that gets brought out for the study session and put onto the dining room table or coffee table, etc. – can be comforting and help an Aspie get into the ‘right frame of mind’ for learning.  It is the ‘little ritual’ of ‘getting down to studying’ which helps the Aspie mind ‘settle’.
  • ENGAGEMENT -whatever motivator is used, the Aspie must want to succeed – or the whole exercise is pointless.

Yet, no learning environment will be effective if the method of learning is one that the Aspie cannot master.

Many of the studies I have read have found that Aspies have very poor memory – as in, rote memory.  We are much, much worse at it than our peers of comparable intelligence.  We are even worse at remembering things ‘in order’.  (As in, if a person is shown a list of words, objects or numbers and is then requested to repeat or identify them in the same order as originally presented – Aspies rate so low, it is unbelievable.)

(Aside:  this does not mean that an Aspie cannot benefit from improving their rote memory – to the contrary!  But, that will have to be a separate post of its own…  What it does mean is that forcing an Aspie to rely on memory for learning is setting him/her up for failure, with all the emotional baggage this carries.)

Therefore, any system of learning which will rely on memorizing or sequencing or any such thing is setting an Aspie up for failure.  Be it multiplication tables or spelling/reading/writing or vocabulary or history dates – using this approach will only lead the Aspie to conclude that they are stupid and that there is no point in trying….and the Aspie will work hard to avoid these tasks, or simply refuse to perform them altogether.  This is because the internal pain of having it reinforced that ‘they are incompetent’, ‘not performing up to expectations’ and so on is so great, no amount of punishment would be worse for the Aspie.  The Aspie will either appear unwilling or unable…

This can be frustrating!  For everyone involved. 

However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

These same studies show that Aspies are much better than their peers at remembering things they ‘figure out on their own’.  This is very, very important – and supports the whole ‘Aspies like rules’ thing!

This is just my little hypothesis, no more than that.  Yet, I think the facts fit…  One major ‘coping mechanism’ Aspies develop to compensate for poor ‘reteniton’ using ‘memory’ is to use ‘understanding’ instead. 

And what a coping mechanism!  By understanding, instead of remembering, Aspies do not learn about a subject, they learn the subject!

Aspies like rules because when we analyze something, breaking it down into small components ‘according to rules’ helps us ‘figure it out’.  That is when ‘understanding’ (or ‘comprehension’) happens.  It has certainly been my personal experience:  I went to study Physics, because it was the only subject where I did not have to remember anything!  I could (and usually did) derive each and every equation I needed from first principles – which I understood, and therefore did not have to remember.

Many Aspies (especially male Aspies) are attracted to the science and technology fields, because this is one area of learning where ‘understanding’ is much more important to success than ‘memorizing’.  Here, the ‘coping mechanism’ gives Aspies an edge over others!

Everyone is familiar with the description of the ‘young Aspie’ as ‘a little professor’, where large amounts of information are absorbed and retained.  How can this be achieved without a good memory?  

As the Aspie learns new information, it is ‘figured out’ – what each bit means, how it fits into this ‘field’ or ‘subject-matter’.  It is not so much ‘memorized’ as it is ‘absorbed into the framework of understanding’ of that subject matter.  So, it is not ‘memory’ but ‘understanding’ that the Aspie uses to learn so much about so little!

Test it for yourself.  If an Aspie were to be simply ‘memorizing’ new information about a favorite subject, they will only be able to answer the questions that are directly answered by quotes from the new information.  Yet, I am willing to bet that if you do try this little experiment, the Aspie will have – after a single read – integrated all that is contained in the new information into everything else they know about the subject. Their young mind will have cross-referenced, catalogued and analyzed all the new information as it is being read.  The answers they’ll give will be at a much deeper level of understanding than simple memorization would permit.  (Aside:  this also explains why Aspies often have a difficulty citing their source for specific facts – all the information is ‘fused’ into the common ‘understanding’ as it is absorbed and not really ‘stored’ separately.)

This suggests that ‘figuring out’/’understanding’/’comprehension’ are essential to a successful learning strategy of an Aspie.

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Aspies: if I know it, everyone knows it

One of the most difficult things for a young Aspie to grasp is that not everyone has access to the same information, nor is everyone taught the same rules for everything.  Even a mature Aspie, who is aware and tries to be mindful of it, can easily fall into this ‘trap’ and leave out bits of information that are ‘obvious’…

Let me back up a little:

Aspies, especially young ones, have difficulty understanding that not everyone reasons from the same baseline, has access to exactly the same information, using the same ‘rules’ as they do. 

It is hard to understand that ‘available’ information would be denied or inaccessible to others.  The corollary also holds true:  many young Aspies have a hard time understanding that information beyond what they know may be available to others…as in, that they do not have all the available information.

Predictably, this may lead to confusion – and frustration, misunderstandings, resentment, self-doubt…. 

I remember reading that one of the very early childhood tests for Aspergers is to take a candy box and ask the child what is inside.  The child will answer ‘candy’.  Then, the therapist (person administering the test) opens the candy box to reveal that there is a crayon inside instead of candy.  Now – this is the tricky bit – if the therapist were to ask the child at this point:  ‘If your mom came in and I asked her where the crayon is, where do you think she’d start looking for it?’

While many children would understand ‘the joke’ (it’s not really a joke, as it only satisfies the ‘unexpected’ or ‘secret knowledge’ aspect, which alone is insufficient to constitute a joke, but many ‘neurotypicals’, especially children, often mistake it for one),  the Aspie kids expected their mom to go directly towards the candy box to find the crayon

This is an illustration of the Aspie ‘if I know this, then everyone knows this’ blindspot.  It is becauseof this very inability of young Aspies to differentiate between ‘I know’ and ‘everyone knows’ that many ‘specialists’ do not consider us capable of ‘higher abstract reasoning’. 

Predictably, I think them stupid (this was the mildest word I could bring myself to use) for this patronizing, self-centered presumption:  Aspies are capable of extremely abstract reasoning!  Plus, most Aspies do learn this differentiation – perhaps using a different part of the brain than ‘average’ people, but we do learn it.  Perhaps we learn it at a higher age, and some of us learn it more easily than others.  Perhaps some of us learn it at an intellectual level, but still have a difficulty applying it at a mundane, practical lever… but this is NOT an indication of an inability to self-conceptualize, to ‘differentiate’ between ‘the self’ and ‘others’, as many misguided ‘specialists’ condescendingly and erroneously attempt to suggest!

So, having (hopefully) established that this ‘blindspot’ is not what many ‘experts’ pretend it is, it is still very important for Aspies and for people interacting with Aspies to be aware of this.

Many times, people think Aspies ‘arrogant’ for presuming that everyone ‘ought to’ hold the same views.  The corollary is that the Aspie may view the failure of other people to gather the same information, follow the same reasoning process (at this has ‘definite rules’) and arrive at the same conclusion to be a sign of inferior intelligence in other people.  After all, the Aspie followed this process without any difficulty – why couldn’t everyone else?  Or, perhaps more accurately, why wouldn’t everyone else do the same? 

It is not an attempt at being ‘haughty’ or putting other people down – the Aspie may simply not understand why other people would not follow the rules of reasoning to arrive at the same conclusion as they had.  So, either the person has chosen not to follow the rules of reasoning – and Aspies like to stick to their rules – or that person is unable to follow the process….  You can see how that could cause the Aspie to ‘appear haughty’.

It may alienate peers, care-providers or educators and make them not want to help the Aspie.  After all, they are trying to help this person, and getting this attitude in return! It may make the Aspie appear ‘arrogant’ and to ‘lack empathy’ – something that has also often been erroneously asserted about us by ‘specialists’ who do more harm than good  by misunderstanding their observations of Aspies and than basing great, sweeping theories on these misunderstandings.  If you ask me, they have failed to follow the reasoning process correctly!

I am not saying that adult Aspies should be excused for not properly compensating for this known aspect of ‘Aspieness’.  However, when kids are young, it would be unreasonable to expect them to have developed coping mechanisms to deal with this, as they may be too young to even understand that this is happening, or that it is something they should try to compensate for….  So, understanding the root of this attitude is important in order to not discourage people from helping – and also in teaching the young Aspie what is happening and how to compensate for it.

If the Aspie is not taught (or does not learn on their own) this lesson, they will never understand why it is that their ‘reasoning’ is ‘always out of step’ with everyone else’s.  This is not a healthy way to grow up. 

Either the Aspie will ‘learn’ that they are an ‘idiot’ whose ‘reasoning’ cannot be trusted.  After all, everyone else came to a different conclusion – and either the Aspie thinks, or someone close to them pointedly tells them that ‘it is higly unlikely that the Aspie is right and the rest of the world is wrong’.  In this case they will spend the rest of their life always doubting themselves and thinking their ‘reasoning’ skills to be faulty and untrustworthy. 

Or it might set up an expectation that the ‘rest of the world’ cannot be trusted and one must hide their opinions from it.  After all, every time you tell people your opinions, you are told you are being rude and then are ostracized.  Either way, speaking your mind causes people to be angry at you – so you learn not to.

Or, it may breed a complete contempt for the rest of the world in the young Aspie.  Or something similarly self-isolating…

Either way, it is not going to lead to the development of a  ‘healthy’ sense of ‘self’ for the young Aspie.  I do not know what the ideal solution to this is – or what the best ‘compensating behaviour’ would be, as these tend to differ from one Aspie to another.  The right age at which the Aspie is ready to deal with it may also differ greatly.   But, the ‘frustration levels’ of both the Aspie and the Aspie’s caretakers, educators and friends may all be reduced if this ‘blindspot’ is understood and addressed.