Xanthippa's Chamberpot

Shamelessly lifted from reddit:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are on a camping trip.

In the middle of the night, Holmes nudges Watson awake, and says, “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions of stars, my dear Holmes.”

“And what do you infer from seeing these stars?”

“Well, a number of things,” he says, lighting his pipe:

Astronomically, I observe that there are millions of galaxies and billions of stars and planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I expect that the weather will be fine and clear.

Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and man, his creation, small and insignificant.

What about you, Holmes?”

“I infer that someone has stolen our tent!”

Yes, I have been neglecting artists.  Let me fix that:

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Two:  one to pet the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with clocks.

While on light-bulb jokes:

How many software engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – that’s a hardware problem!