Xanthippa's Chamberpot

Shamelessly lifted from reddit:

Ceasar, Crassus, and Pompey walk into a bar. They find a nice, corner table while Crassus offers to get some drinks.

As Crassus waits at the bar, chatting up some local ladies, Caesar and Pompey begin talking amongst themselves.

“I just don’t get it, Pompey!” Caesar begins, “With his great wealth, Crassus could have any woman he wants! But there he goes again, flirting with some wretched looking, old bar-flies!”

“Caesar, Caesar” Pompey whispers, “be easy, you know old Crassus hasn’t got any standards!”