Island of Merzy – part 1

While I was reading up on famous Aspies, I came across an assertion that Albert Einstein could NOT have been an Aspie, because he had a sense of humour!!!

This came from someone who is apparently considered to be an ‘expert’ on Asperger’s syndrome….  How sad.  It sounds like one of those ‘experts’ who only considers a very small percentage of Aspies and – proverbially – sweeps the rest of us under the rug.

Just for the record, I would like to repeat:  Aspies have a sense of humour!!!

If you don’t believe me, read xkcd (apparently, they picked the name so it could not be pronounced as a single word…but I was only told that after I HAD been pronouncing it that way…my native tongue can have sentences that are gramatically correct and make sense – yet contain no vowels…and YES, I DO love ‘tongue-twisters’!)

Alternately, let me tell you a story about the island of Merzy….

Once, long ago, when the Earth was smaller than it is today – well, at least the ‘KNOWN’ world (i.e. known to the Europeans who KNEW they were at the centre of the Universe), there was a small, unchartered island somewhere in the tropical band about the world. This island was called Merzy.

It was inhabitted by a wonderful peoples. One day, a European explorer happened upon that island and immediatelly fell in love with it, the people, their culture – or, perhaps, just the
Chieftains’ daughter.

Either way, he feared that as more Europeans would come, they would consider the natives to be ‘savages’, because they did not display the ‘European trappings of power’. The best way to protect them, her reasoned, was to -within the frame of their culture – also teach them how to emulate some of the things that would force the Europeans (who were bound to follow there, now that the paradise-like island had been discovered) to treat the islanders with respect – and not like the other indigenous cultures they had encountered while ‘discovering’ the globe.

It would not be as difficult as all that, our explorer thought…

First, the Chieftain had to be referred to as a ‘King’. That is what all the Europeans called their leaders.

Second, he had to appear ‘kingly’. That meant a proper, golden throne, and that sceptery thingy and the apple-gold-bally thingy. (I love technical terms!)

Third, they had to do something about the architecture….since all the buildings on the island were really just straw huts, the Europeans might not take them seriously, after all.  So, they had to ‘Europeanize’ the buildings – you know, they had to put up a fancy facade…

Getting everyone to call his beloved’s father ‘King’ was easy. At least, he taught them that the word ‘Chieftain’ translates into multiple European languages as ‘king’ – same thing, really.

Then, they set about building a huge, multi-story straw hut.  Yes, a ‘proper’ building would have been better, but, well, you had bamboo and much straw – and little else for building materials, so the plans had to be adjusted a bit from ‘palace’ to ‘big, two-story hut’.  (Please, note that I did NOT say ‘hutlace’.)

But – they did it! It was magnificent! It was very large, so most of the natives from the tribe could gather inside for celebrations. It had two stories around the edges, and the middle was open to the tall ceiling.

And, in the place of honour – the centre of the hut/palace, they placed the masterpiece – a magnificent, golden throne! Yes, it was not easy to make the throne, but it really was magnificent:  inlaid with mother-of-pearl and all kinds of precious thingies.  A real throne!

The King even got a crown, sceptre and the roundy-bally thingy, which matched the style and look of the throne: golden with pearls all over.

Now, they would be ready for any Europeans to come!

The explorer, sadly, had to return home. After all, even though he wanted to stay, he owed a debt of honour to the Queen (it is ALWAYS queens who fund the most excellent explorers – I think it has to do with longing and the mystique of the unknown) to come back and give his report.  With him, he brought many specialities from the island… and he promised that as soon as possible, he would seek permission from his Queen to return to the island and seek the hand of the Merzian princess (chifetain’s daughter) in marriage.

Time passed, but nobody came.

More time passed, and nobody came.

When it became clear that something had gone wrong with the explorer, and he was not coming back – and nor were any other Europeans (the island was rather well sheltered and hidden from major shipping routes), the islanders slowly put away the’European trappings of power’ – except that they did like the big hut! It was an AWESOME party place!

But that big throne was always getting in the way….so, to keep it a bit out of way, the islanders decided to shove it up to the second story of the hut – the whole second floor had, really, become one big storage space.

One day, they had a most excellent party!

Lots of dancing, tea-drinking, singing, and coconut-clapping…..and then, suddenly, with horrid, tortured creaking and cracking, the floor under that heavy throne gave out!!!

The whole hut started collapsing, caught on fire from the party torches, and EVERYBODY DIED!!!!!

And WHAT, do you ask, is the moral of this story???

PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GRASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT STOW THRONES!!!!!!!

… and they say us Aspies have no sense of humour!!!!  We can make things funny AND follow the rules of how humour works!!!

What does ‘revenue neutral’ mean?

With all the ‘electioning’ all over the place, there are many promises tossed about by all sides.  Some promises are for tax cuts.  Others are for introducing new taxes – but in a way that will revenue neutral. And while we know that a tax cut means that we will hand less of our money to the government, what exactly does does revenue neutral mean?

Revenue simply means income:  how much money is actually coming in. 

Neutral speaks for itself:  no change.  Or it could mean ‘not positive, not negative’ = 0.

So, when a government changes taxes around, but in a way so that the changes are revenue neutral, it means they will not take in more in taxes than they had before.  It does NOT, however, mean that each taxpayer will still pay the same amount!  To the contrary – if everyone were to pay the same as before, there would have been no point in changing the tax system.  Some will pay more, some will pay less, but the total will add up to the same number.  (And if you believe that, I just happen to have this miracle-cure for….)

Of course, English is a wonderfully flexible language! 

For example, take the phrase ‘You can never put too much water into a nuclear reactor’.  Among others, it could have two rather opposite meanings:

  1. ‘You can never put too much water into a nuclear reactor’ (as in, if there is too much water- kaboom!)
  2. ‘You can never put too much water into a nuclear reactor’ (as in, water makes it so much safer, so pour in as much as you possibly can – it will not be too much)

The phrase ‘I will introduce new taxes, but it will be revenue neutral’ can also be interpreted in several different ways.  Either, as the politician hopes we will interpret it, it could mean that the amount of ‘taxes collected’ would be unchanged (as was explained above). 

However, the ‘it’ might also be referring to my income.  As in, after taxes, my revenue (inome) will be neutral…exactly ZERO!!!

So, next time politicians introduce tax changes which will be ‘revenue neutral’, do not forget to ask them WHICH revenue they intend to neutralize!

Another person could be jailed for telling jokes!

This time, in Italy:

The Christian world may have been dismayed, even outraged, at the Muslim reaction in 2005 to Danish cartoons satirising the Prophet Muhammed, but Italian law enforcement appears to have had its own sense of humour failure. Giovanni Ferrara, the Rome prosecutor, is invoking the 1929 Lateran Treaty between Italy and the Vatican, which stipulates that an insult to the Pope carries the same penalty as an insult to the Italian President.

Even certain sections of the Church are unimpressed. Father Bartolomeo Sorge, a Jesuit scholar, told La Repubblica the move to prosecute Ms Guzzanzi was incomprehensible. “We Christians put up with many insults, it is part of being a Christian, as is forgiveness. I feel sure the Pope has already forgiven those who insulted him on Piazza Navona.”

So, let’s recap this:

  1. Ms. Guzzani told rude jokes about the Pope
  2. She is charged under a law that limits free speech and dates back to fascist times and could face 5 years in jail
  3. the Church does not think she did anything for which she ought to be charged (as in, no victim)
  4. Secular laws are used to persecute her ANYWAY

Does this sound familiar?

Why are there segments of our society which think that people who are not hurt, are not offended, still need legislation to protect their feelings?  Do they REALLY care about the ‘victim’ who claims NOT to be a victim?

Or is this a pretext to manipulate the populace, to exercise power over us and censor any opinions that do not advance the censor’s power?

How much clearer could this be?

(Thanks to FiveFeetOfFury for the tip)

Particularly fun day at CERN

turn-on

xkcd: 'turn-on'

Today, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in CERN was turned on!

How exciting!

Despite the dire predictions of ‘generating black holes which will end our Universe’ – predictions which were accompanied by death threats, something most physicists are not used to and unexplicably find mildly funny – things would appear to have gone relatively well!  I guess science’s search for interactions between  Truth and Beauty continues!  (Well, at least scientists expect to see SUperSYmmetry (SUSY) ).

From today’s xkcd (above) and the ‘Scott Adams Blog’ which gives advice to all the bosons our there on ‘Nerdy pick-up lines’, it seems that events like these would appear to open up the horizons to an increase in puns among certain demographics….

Currieous!

P.S. – special mention to the person who can find all the puns in this post….there may be a few.

‘Ezra’s cartoon fate’

It seems rather ironic…
 
First, I wrote about how Yemen and Iran are subverting their legal systems to impose death penalties on the bloggers whom they dissaprove of. 
 
Then, I explained how others try to stifle free speech…even in the shape of ‘little’ blogs.
 
You could say that protecting free speech in all forms is one of those defining issues for me.  Yes, I have kids – and I teach my kids well!
 
So, even my young son could not remain unaware of the ‘free speech/Human Rignts Commissions’ controversy brewing in our fair homeland of Canada.  Perhaps the most visible (certainly the most colourful) free speech advocate in Canada right now – in my never-humble-opinion, is Mr. Ezra Levant.  I admit, I have become fascinated with the ‘gray dungeon’ Mr. Levant was interrogated in by the Alberta HRC Inquisitoress in, seeing its ‘grayness’ with the painting of the ‘sunny, free outdoors’ as somehow symbolic of the whole proces…  I have gone as far as to paint my ‘impression’ of the dungeon, in hopes of – sometimes soon – donating it to an auction benefiting the ‘free speech’ defense fund. 
 
Please, consider the ‘interrogation chamber’ vs. my very imperfect impression of it:
 
Interrogation Chamber: 

…and my ‘impression’ of it:

'Ezra's dungeon'

'Ezra's dungeon'

Yes, it is not a ‘perfect’ copy, the colours are brighter (on purpose), the shapes are not the same – but this is simply my ‘impression’ of the ‘promise of bright freedom’ – only as an illusion, a projection on the wall of this dank, gray, cave of a dungeon… please put it down to ‘artistic licence’!

Well, the funny thing is…the day before I wrote about the death-threat Mr. Levant had received, and the day of the benefit for a comic who is being dragged in front of the thought police for sayin ‘unfunny jokes’, my young son had drawn a series of cartoons, capturing an innocent 9-year-old’s perceptions of our struggle for the freedom of speech! 

(Yes, the seating positions of Ezra and the Inquisitor (or, is it Inqisitrix?) are mirrored in the comic….please excuse that detail – but note that it has been carried throughout the comic strip.  Also, note the beautifully-rendered, iconographic painting on the wall, which clearly identifies the setting!)

Ezra Levant is being 'told off' by the HRC Inquisitor

Ezra Levant is being 'told off' by the HRC Inquisitor

The hammer comes down!

The hammer (gavel?) comes down! It knocks poor Ezra through the ceiling.

The hammer hits the table so hard, it goes right through!

The hammer hits the table so hard, it goes right through!

 
Ezra frees himself, the hammer crashes through the wall...

As Ezra frees himself, the hammer rebounds, crashes through the wall behind the Inquisitor...

...and the hammer hits the neighbour!

...and the hammer hits the neighbour!

...mid-air collision...

...mid-air collision between Ezra and the Inquisitor...

....the rough landing

....the rough landing, as the neighbour grasps the hammer...

The angry neighbour throwns the hammer back, clever Ezra ducks!

The angry neighbour throwns the hammer back, clever Ezra ducks!

Ezra is fine as the knocked-out Inquisitor passes out

As the KO'd Inquisitor gets stuck in the table, Ezra is free!

And the moral of the story?

If you bring the hammer down on someone who does not deserve it, it might just rebound onto you!

When telling jokes can get you jailed…

Sometimes, I have a terrible feeling that the social engineers are attempting to create a Canada which is very much like the good soldier Svejk’s Austro-Hungaria!

Well, perhaps they are not trying, but they sure are succeeding!

Why do I think this?

The novel ‘The Good Soldier Svejk’ by Jaroslav Hasek, widely regarded as the earliest example of modernist writing, is said to be perhaps the first ‘anti-war’ novel ever.  Yet, it describes no combat, no killing, no military training…. 

I don’t think it is an anti-war novel at all.  I think, like his contemporary Kafka’s ‘The Castle’, it is anti-bureaucracy novel!  It uses humour to explain the ridiculesness of existing in a over-bureaucritized, regulations-trump-common-sense system where humans are merely an afterthought!

And, like it or not, that is what Canada is slowly but surely becoming!

All right, let’s keep the ‘big cases’ tackled by the ‘Human Rights Commissions’ aside for a while, and look at some of the other examples of where ‘bureaucratization’ has replaced normal scoial discourse:

This one, I witnessed with my own eyes, or I might have had a hard time believing it..

A man, obviously ill, produced an invalid publich health insurance card at a medical clinic. The nice lady behind the counter refused his offer to pay to see a doctor:  ‘As a resident of Ontario, you are entitled to free health care.  So, you are not allowed to pay money to see a doctor.  Just go down to the government office, get the problems with your card straightened out, and we’ll be glad to put your name down on the waiting list.’

How nice!

And while I am on healthcare, how about this one…

A elderly gentleman (in his 70’s or 80’s) came to a specialist’s office for his appointment.  Being forgetful, he could not find his ‘card’…but did not want to loose the appointment, as he had waited 3 months to get in.  The receptionist went into a bit of a panic…  Paying was out of question, that would be illegal.  Seeing the patient without having the card first – well, they could face big penalties when they got audited (not if, but when – most doctors are audited 2-3 times each year to make sure they adhere to all the government regulations, like appointment length per patient).

After talking to the doctor, she came up with a unique solution:  the doctor would see him, no card, no charge, but during his lunch.  And it would not be recorded on the official medical chart, so the doctor could not get into trouble with the government. 

How insane is that!?!?!

When doctors are afraid of seeing patients because of sanctions by the government, we have Svejk-like bureaucritization of our society! 

And don’t let me get started on education, where a kindergarten teacher is not allowed to comfort a child that fell, because it might infringe cultural practices…

The laws tell us what kind of signs we are – and are not allowed – to put up to promote our businesses.

How can one expect humane treatment, when the bureaucratic process becomes more important than people?

But all this is only a tiny, tiny part of the whole machine!

Yes, a bureaucratic machine is the universal result of an overbloated government which continuously  attempts to expand its existence by regulating more and more aspects of its citizens’ lives.  And, as a rule, bureaucrats tend to be very, very humourless…

Of course, this is where the Human Rights Commissions come in:  their role is to keep the machine going by eradicating all semblance of independent thought.  After all, independent thought might lead to independent action – and we only want machine government regulated actions around here!

Is it surprising, then, that humour just might be made illegal in Canada?

This guy, Guy Earle, is being dragged through the legal system, because his jokes were ‘hate speech’….here is his account of that saga:  (Note – may contain offensive humour/language.)

It seems insane, but the HRCs DO have the right to forbit this man from ever telling a joke again!

Since their rulings are recorded with a real court, they are binding – and were this comedian to breech it, he could indeed be jailed.  There is a fundraised for him this coming Saturday, in Toronto.

Now, I do recall some countries – under some regimes – where people could be jailed for telling jokes.  Coincidentally, they all valued bureaucracies over people.  Namely, Nazi Germany, Communist Soviet Union and its satellites, and so on. 

Oh, and let’s not forget, the Habsburg Austro-Hungarian Empire of the good soldier Svejk!

Yet another lesson… will it be learned?

All right, this clip is not from the boys down under, it is from Pen and Teller – the professional sceptics who put on the show ‘Bullshit’.

In their role as sceptics, they have gone on to challenge much – and not everyone is always pleased with them.  Here, they are teaching a lesson in how ‘environmental enthusiasm’ – a very real and honest desire to protect the Earth from harm by us, humans – can be so very easily abused by those who wish to use these honest, trusting and eager activists and subvert them and their voices for something completely different… 

In some ways, it kind of is like that ‘Trojan Horse’ idea!

Beware of Aussies Bearing … Horses?

OK, this is another one of history’s unlearned lessons.

It would really be quite sad, if it were not so funny – and vice versa…

The lesson of the ‘Trojan Horse’:

Learning from history…

In the past, I have ranted on about how it is not enough to learn from history, but how we must actually learn the right lesson from it.

Perhaps I was just a little too eager…

Perhaps it would be asking way too much for people to learn even the most literal, obvious lessons from history…

My ideas on the lessons from history was turned upside down from the boys down under…

Big Brother is watching….you make a video?!?!?

More and more of our life is being caught on surveilence cameras.  Most of us don’t like it, but are willing to put up with it in the name of ‘security’.

The UK, in particular, has more of its streets ‘protected’ by cameras owned by one level of government or another…. 13 million CCTV’s, if one is to believe the reports.  Surely, there must be some more use for them than simply to employ bureaucrats to manage all these video records!

Well, perhaps there is.  ‘The Get Out Clause’, an unsigned band from Manchester, had a brilliant idea.

They needed to make a video.  They had no video equipment….perhapt the taxes were so high, their ‘take-home’ pay was just too small.  What to do, what to do….

Well, they DID pay (at least, partially) for some of these public cameras, right?  So, they should get some value out of them, right?

And they surely did!

The only catch?  They had to use the ‘Freedom to Information Act’ to get their footage….

Still, if you can’t not pay for them, you might as well play up to them!