Honoring the 9/11 Victims by Protecting the Truth by Gad Saad

OK, I admit it freely – very emotional today.

Re-living that day and the fears I had for my babies then and there…

Short of words – let me let Gad Saad speak to it:

Returning back to civilization

Here is one of my buddies from ‘up North’:

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Reply to ‘POD’ on ‘The Rise of the Christian Taliban?’

Sorry that this has to come as a post:  but, it would appear that due to WordPress’s most excellent latest updates, my response to POD’s comment is too long to post as a comment.

I guess I am just a little bit too verbose…but I hate being misunderstood, so I had to reply in some length.

The original post is here.

The comment by Peter O’Donnel is here.

My reply is below:

Thank you, Peter, for the long and well thought out reply.

Let me take things in order:

It seems to me that Christianity stopped committing atrocities whenever it became separated from actual real, hands-on political power.  I suspect that this will be true of all religions, secular (non-theistic) as well as theistic:  it is the real-world power combined with a firm and unshakable belief that one is not just correct, but ‘absolutely right’ that produces tyranny.

Since this piece focuses on Christians forming what they hope will be a religious terrorist organization, I naturally focused on Christianity.  That, plus Christianity martyred more of my family than any other doctrine – so it’s personal.  Of course Communism and Islam are greater threats now than Christianity has been in the 20th century, but my point was that regardless of which religion it is, it can and will be used by some to usurp power over others.  If we let them.

As for Jesus whispering similar things to people – I understand your belief in this, but there have been many wars between Christian sects all of whom truly and honestly believed to have Jesus’s true message while the other guys were idiots who were wrong.  Just consider the difference between Catholics and Evangelicals on the topic of evolution:  Catholics assert it is the means through which the various species were created by God while Evangelicals claim it is Devil’s teachings…

Solzhenitsyn:  good book, the Gulag Archipelago.  However, Solzhenitsyn himself longed for a totalitarian state himself – he just wanted the tyrant to be the Russian Orthodox Church instead of the Bolsheviks…which is really much the same thing.

As for Buddha:  he was not so much enlightened as cowardly.  He was in the perfect position to alleviate the suffering of the common folk, being a crown prince and all that.  Instead he went and sulked in a cave….and had the nerve to accept food from the poorest of the poor, who thought it was their duty to feed him even if it meant their own children starved.  Yeah, great spiritual enlightening there!

And before you go on about the accomplishments of monks who meditate:  please consider their diet and that their ‘enlightened meditation’ perfectly fits the symptoms of brain damage due to malnutrition.

I would not go looking for spiritual advice there!

As for God being the foundation of morality.  I did not intend to say that since God does not exist, it cannot be the foundation of morality.

I do not know whether god(s) exist or not or how we would define them.  I suppose I am very much an ignostic.  As such, I would need a clear definition, because different people mean different things when they say ‘God’ – and without knowing what they mean, I cannot possibly hold an opinion, much less knowledge, regarding their existence.  (Having said this, I find little to no evidence that supports the existence of Bible-definined deity, and consider monotheism to be the least credible of all the theological positions – but that is not the point here.)

What I was referring to is the continued assertion by Christian apologists that morality is whatever their God defines it to be.  So, if God commands genocide, then genocide is the moral thing to do.  If selling your daughter to her rapist for 40 silver pieces is what God says is the moral thing to do, then that is indeed the ‘moral’ thing to do.

In other words, many Christians argue that without God, there can be no morality.

Because ‘morality’ is obeying anything and everything that God commands.

I hold the diametrically opposite view:  ‘obedience’ to morality dictated from the outside (be it from a parent or God or teapot or whatever else) is exactly that.  Obedience.

And obedience, in my never-humble-opinion, precludes morality.

Morality is making decisions about what is right and wrong, what is good, bad or evil.  Weighing the consequences of one’s actions – then choosing what to do and living with it.  Morality is reasoning from the first principle of self-ownership and deriving the least incorrect course of action therefrom.

Morality is choosing one’s actions and accepting the responsibilities thereof.

Without  this decision making process, without internal locust of decision-making, there is no ‘morality’ – only obedience.

After all, how can you be held responsible for following someone else’s rules?

So, to my way of thinking, ‘obeying the word of God’ is abdicating ‘morality’ in favour of ‘obedience’.

Because doing the right thing for the wrong reason does not make you ‘moral’….it makes you, at best,  ‘accidentally right’.  Because you did not make the choice as to what the moral course of action would be – you simply obeyed the what somebody else decided is the moral course of action.

Sorry to go into this in so much detail, but as I did not make my position clear in the original post, I want to make sure to be more clear in my reply.

To recap:  I am not saying that morality cannot come from God since God does not exist:  I am saying that obeying somebody else’s rules about what is or is not moral is not morality itself, it is simply obedience because the locust of decision-making about what is or is not moral is external to one-self.  And I am perfectly aware that many religious people consider ‘morality’ to be ‘obeying God’s commands’ because they believe they are owned by God (in one manner or another).  I acknowledge their belief, but disagree with them.  Obedience is not ‘morality’ – or every puppy would be the most ‘moral’ creature in the world!

Which brings me to Mother effing Theresa.

Just this past weekend, I had a huge fight with a self-defined Christian apologist about Mother effing Theresa!

He had driven her around Montreal for a week and thought the sun shone from her behind!

Of course, being a fact-focused person, I know better than to buy in to the hollow propaganda about this profoundly evil person, who fetishized the suffering of others and maximized it in order to bring about her own salvation.  Her clinics did not differentiate between curable and incurable patients and used unsterilized needles for all…as well as denying even child-patients life-saving medical care and all painkillers….’cause, suffering would bring them closer to Jesus!

If the evil bitch Agnes (self-called Mother Theresa, which in itself should be a hint as she was NOT a mother and it is deeply immoral of her to usurp that noble title) is your example of the good things Jesus whispers to people, then you confirm my suspicion that all religions are, at their core, evil incarnate.  And that to get good people to commit evil deeds, all you need is religion….

Jesus himself:  perhaps we can leave discussion of the Nazarene and his teachings for another day…

As for giving God a chance:  I rather like Thor…and Tyr…and Hospodin and Baba Maja.  Have you given them a chance?

Freedom School 2015: Essentials of Freedom

Essentials of Freedom - 2014 - Edmonton, Alberta - January 31, February 1

Essentials of Freedom - 2014 - Edmonton, Alberta - January 31, February 1

Essentials of Freedom - 2014 - Edmonton, Alberta - January 31, February 1

 

 

 

 

Sun News commentator and University of Ottawa professor

John Robson, PhD
– columnist and commentator with Sun Media,
– Invited Professor at the University of Ottawa.

****************************

Elsa Schieder, PhD, The Idea Emporium, The World Truth Summitfor freedom of speech

Elsa Schieder, PhD
thinker extraordinaire
– a.k.a. Dr Zee, for good thinking from A to Z,
– creator of The Idea Emporium.
Central Idea: Without the capacity to think, there is no freedom. We are locked inside blocks in our heads.

****************************

Valerie Price, ACT for Canada

Alexandra Belaire
blogger – as Xanthippa
championing freedom of speech – like for Connie and Marc Fournier,
who had Canada’s oldest Conservative forum.

***************************

Danny Hozack, organizer extraordinarie

Danny Hozack
organizer
for more info, call: (780) 808 0271
or email: dhozack at gmail.com

****************************

****************************

FURTHER SPEAKERS
TO BE ANNOUNCED

****************************

****************************

ESSENTIALS OF FREEDOM
2 for 1 BONUS:
WORKSHOP – $200
1-YEAR MEMBERSHIP – $200
Workshop plus 1-Year Membership – $200
COMPLETE THE REGISTRATION FORM BELOW
(for Regular Associate Member)
AND YOU GET BOTH

2 for 1 BONUS – ONE DAY:
ONE DAY of the WORKSHOP (Fri or Sat) –
$100 (for the day only)
6-MONTH MEMBERSHIP – $100
1 DAY Workshop plus 6-Month Membership – $100

FRIDAY NIGHT – SUPPER AND MIXER – $50

EXTRA BONUS:
FREE FOR MEMBERS
THURSDAY NIGHT MIXER
JOHN ROBSON &
BRIAN LILLEY

$25 FOR NON-MEMBERS

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Brian Lilley, host of Byline, Sun News

Brian Lilley
– host of Byline on Sun News,
– political journalist and Senior Correspondent for Sun Media’s National Bureau.

****************************

Mark Milke - Tax Me, I'm Canadian

Mark Milke
author of
Tax Me, I’m Canadian:
A Taxpayer’s Guide
to Your Money and
How Politicians Spend It
– director of Alberta Policy Studies
for the Fraser Institute,
– lecturer in political science at the University of Calgary.

****************************

Sun News commentator and University of Ottawa professor

Marcel G. Latouche
President & CEO
The Institute for Public Sector Accountability

plus lecturer of economics and public sector finance at SAIT Polytechnic.

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  IN TRIBUTE   

Elsa Schieder, PhD, The Idea Emporium, The World Truth Summitfor freedom of speech

Link Byfield
– founder of the Citizen’s Centre for Freedom and Democracy, a lobby group dedicated to advocating responsible government,
– for 18 years, editor and publisher for the Alberta Report.

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******

*

The Islamic Persecution of Religious Minorities

As sad as this is, Islamic persecution of religious minorities is a fact.

And yes, it does include Islamic minorities which differ from the majority sect of Islam – in this way, Islam does not differentiate.  Every sect of Islam persecutes religious minorities other than itself.

Why?

Raymond Ibrahim is one person who writes about this in detail – and discusses so in this video.

Another person who speaks about this issue with knowledge and passion is Dr. Bill Warner, who is making a speaking tour of Canada.

November 16th, he will be speaking at the Pomeroy Hotel & Conference Centre in Grand Prairie, Alberta.

November 17th, he will be speaking in the Toronto Zionist Centre, Toronto, Ontario

November 18th, he will be speaking at the Ottawa Library Archives which is in Ottawa-Nepean (still in Ontario).

November 19th, he will be speaking at the Spanish & Portuguese Synagogue in Montreal, Quebec.

And last but not least:

November 20th, he will be speaking at the Ramada Beacon Harborside Inn in Hamilton, Ontario.

I myself will come to the Toronto event and am helping organize the Ottawa and Montreal events – so, if you happen to make it to one of those evenings, please, do come and say hi!

The full information about the tour is on The Freedom Community website:

Bill Warner, PhD:
What do we do now?

Christian Persecution, Jewish Persecution,
Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Atheist, Agnostic,
Apostate Persecution …
and Islam.
Why? And why so much silence about it?
Most of all, what do we do now?

Bill Warner - Political Islam, Persecution of Infidels Kafirs

November 16 – Grand Prairie, Alberta
November 17 – Toronto, Ontario
November 18 – Ottawa, Ontario
November 19 – Montreal, Montreal
November 20 – Hamilton, Ontario

Bill Warner - Political Islam, Voice for the Voiceless


When Bill Warner saw the second plane hit the second tower, he knew this was jihad, and that confronting this would be his life work from that moment on.

And it has been.

He has studied the Islamic religious texts – the Quran, Hadiths and Sira.

He has written easy-to-read versions which are authoritative. That is, the sources are cited for every statement.

He has spoken from coast to coast.

And he continues to ask: what do we do now?

January 2014 marked a turning point.

Bill Warner’s background is in science. He has a PhD in Physics. This has led him to value facts. But it was becoming clear to him that the facts were out there – and so many people were not listening.

What to do?

He saw that Muslims loudly claimed the role of victim – despite massive Muslim persecution of Christians and Jews and Hindus and Buddhists and atheists and agnostics.

It was clear to Bill that it was time for the persecuted non-Muslims to proclaim the reality of their persecution, and it was time for the persecuted to speak out. For instance, it time for all Christians to speak out on behalf of persecuted Christians instead of staying silent.

A Voice for the Voiceless, Bill has proclaimed.

He has dug into history, especially the brutal history of Islam, to explain why so many of the victimized are staying silent. And he is doing all he can to arouse the silent into community action.

DR BILL WARNER
will be speaking on:

– the content of Islam re non-Muslims,
including prohibitions against freedom of speech;
– the content of Sharia re non-Muslims;
– the 1400 history of Islam, including the persecution
and victimization of Christians, Jews,
Hindus, Buddhists, atheists, agnostics
as well as Muslims who disagree in
any way with the Muslims in power;
– and the quest for effective action
to reach people with this information,
especially to reach them on an emotional level.


Dr Bill Warner.
Courage, Conviction, Perseverance.
From Political Islam,
to 1400 Years of Terror, to …
A Voice for the Voiceless.

Bill Warner with American Flag

“My mission is to educate the world
about the doctrine and history of Political Islam.
I deal with facts, not opinions.”

For more information
about Bill Warner, click here

Bill Warner, Political Islam

A Special Thank You
Individuals who take action are so important.
For this event, many thanks to
the Christian Men’s Luncheon Group
in Grande Prairie.

It has been instrumental
in bringing Bill to Canada.
Its members realize
that the education of Canadians
with regards to the ideology of Islam
is desperately needed.
The group also brought
Robert Spencer in 2013.

An interview – with me.

Elsa Shieder is a freedom lover who has worked relentlessly both in raising awareness of things that may endanger our freedoms and in helping people learn how to work for more freedom by telling the stories of how other freedom lovers do just that.

Over time, she has interviewed some pretty awesome freedom activists, from Bill Warner through Nonie Darwish, from Fred Litvin to Rahil Raza and on and on and on.

I was honoured and flattered when she asked to interview me as part of this series.

My interview will be up tonight at 8 EST and will be available for free for the first 48 hours, then it will go behind a nominal paywall to help cover production costs.

So, if you’re interested, listen in and enjoy!

Posted in about. 3 Comments »

Ottawa Shooting – a home-grown terrorist…

Today was an exciting day – and not in a good way…

It now seems more than likely that today’s shooting was a terrorist attack – jihad performed by a home-grown terrorist, as the shooter was known to the police and had had his passport confiscated for fear that he would go join ISIL.

ISIL is reportedly showing off pictures of him.

And, ISIL also commanded its minions that if they cannot go to Syria/Iraq to join ISIL there to go ahead and carry out terrorist attacks against people in their home countries.

Which is what happened at Saint-Jean-Sur-Richelieu on Monday.

And which seems to have happened here, in Ottawa, today.

So, here are some videos from today:

First, this is the War Memorial where the first shooting and the murder of the Canadian Soldier, Cpl. Nathan Cirillo took place as he stood honour guard as the Memorial. (Aside – whose idiotic idea was it to have the honour guards have unloaded weapons?)

You can see the group of people where ordinary Canadian, heroes each and every one of them, rushed to Cpl. Cirillo’s aid – put pressure on his wounds and performed CPR on him until paramedics arrived instead of running for cover.

In the background is the Chateau Laurier (on the left) and the Old Train Station which is now Conference Board of Canada (on the right) and the North-bound lanes of Elgin St. between them.  That is the route I take every morning to bring my high-school-student sun to his co-op placement, just a few blocks from here.

Second, this is the main entry hall in the Centre Block of the Canadian Parliament building, leading to the Library (the only original part of the Parliament buildings that was not burned down in the Great Fire.  Off this hall are meeting rooms – and, co-incidentally, I have attended a wedding of a friend of mine in one of these room.  (Yes, ordinary Canadians CAN book a wedding at the Parliament…though, after this, I’m not so sure….)

This is the front of the Parliament:

Macleans has a map with highligted buildings about what was locked down.

 

 

This map—last updated in November 2012—was created to illustrate the 100 most powerful buildings in Ottawa. Many of these buildings are under lockdown orders now: all federal buildings including Parliament Hill, the Elgin Street police station, the U.S. Embassy, the main branch of the Ottawa Public Library, the Rideau Centre, and the Ottawa courthouse, among others.

https://www.google.com/fusiontables/embedviz?viz=MAP&q=select+col6+from+1PPbtW0jD3mRRGz8D7oB6IjjzaEirrf8EmZTil2M&h=false&lat=45.42141173735469&lng=-75.69997888363646&z=16&t=3&l=col6

I hope it will paste/display OK – if not, please, follow the link.

The topmost highlighted building (purplish) is the US Embassy – and we were on lockdown in a non-Government (and thus not highlighted) building just a few minutes’ walk east of it.

Yeah, when it happens in a place that you pass several times each day, it really strikes home…

 

P.S.  While in lockdown, I could – every now and hen – use my son’s work’s computer (but not log into anything, and so could not live-blog the event…).  As such, I posted a few progress comments over at BlazingCatFur:  thanks for the well-wishes and support from all the folks over there!

 

 

Home, safe and sound!

As my son’s high school co-op placement put him about a block from the US Embassy – and right in the heart of today’s shooting incident, he and I got caught in the area lockdown.

Yes, as soon as I heard what was happening, I rushed to his place of work and got into the building just moments before they locked it down.

However, we are now home and safe!

 

UPATE:  The victim and the shooter have been identified.

The victim is Cpl. Nathan Cirillo – my deepest sympathies go to his family and friends.

The shooter is Michael Zehef-Bibeau and was known to the police’.

‘Ottawa officials say he was recently designated a “high-risk traveller” by the Canadian government and that his  passport had been seized – the same circumstances surrounding the case of Martin Rouleau-Couture, the Quebecker who was shot Monday after running over two Canadian Forces soldiers.’

I hear ISIL has a nice photo of him they are circulating…when I get a link, I’ll update.

Posted in about. 20 Comments »

Going on holidays

Tomorrow morning, I am going on holidays – for a week.

To a place with no internet access.

Because, well, if it had internet access, my family (myself included) would not unplug…

Usually, when I go away, I pre-program joke or video posts to post daily.  However, lately, I’ve been slower than usually.

Got my shoulder results today:  turns out that when I had my fall 3 years or so ago and dislocated my left shoulder (and shattered the head of the bone to boot…), I had also hurt my right shoulder.  I complained of the pain, but the doctors were more concerned with the more injured shoulder.  It took them weeks before they finally consented to take an X-ray, then said it had been separated but is doing fine, just get yourself physio for it (not paid by our health care, of course – I had to sell my car to pay for the physio on both my shoulders) and go away.

So, I did, paid for  my physio, and actually eventually regained all motion in the left, more injured shoulder.  But the right one was having trouble healing.

During physio, they did not use ultrasound on my left shoulder, because it had a fracture and the ultrasound treatment interferes with bones mending together.  But, because my right shoulder just had a simple separation, they used ultrasound as primary treatment.  Eventually, I could move the arm.  Not full range – and not without pain, but I could move it.  So, I coughed it up to poor healing skills on my part and left it at that.

Over the years, my more injured, left shoulder, had been my ‘good arm’…

Which brings me to the current episode, which I wrote up here.  TL;DR:  woke my family up by screaming from pain in my sleep, right shoulder buggered up, went to emergency, got pumped full of painkillers and sent home without having had my shoulder examined as the MD was getting off her shift and could not give a dang…went to a walk-in clinic, got sent for X-ray and ultrasound.

Got my results today – two weeks to the day I started not being able to sleep for the acute pain in my right shoulder.

It seems that that injury 3 years ago  – well, I seem to have shattered the end of my right collarbone in it.  Not only did the stupid doctors not treat the break, they prescibed physiotherapy which actively interfered with the bone healing.

Nice!!!

Well, it has healed now – but the bone was not set and it has not healed straight.

And it rubs on tendons.

So, not only have I got arthritis in it now, I seem to have also torn a tendon there – hence the pain.

If I want to do anything about it, I can go pay for some physiotherapy…  But, I no longer have a car to sell to pay for it!

Well, with all this fun going on (typing one-handed and such), everything is taking me a lot longer to do.  Which brings me to the point of this post:  I have simply not had the time or energy to set up posts to be posted while I’m away….so, in my absence, please do give some of these excellent sites a read:

 

Oh yes – and THESE PUZZLES!!!

Canadian medical care and Canadian veterinary care: a stark comparison

My dog is one of the most affectionate creatures that ever lived:  he even tries to play with the squirrels.

OK – he is not the smartest dog ever.  As a matter of fact, I had a beta fish that was smarter than he is.  But, he is loving and kind and gentle and we love him very much.  Therefore, we make sure he has the best veterinary care.

Earlier this week, I took our doggy in to the vet for his annual checkup.  I got an appointment when I wanted, showed up, was seen without a wait.  My dog had his bloodwork done (and the vet herself telephoned me in 3 hours with the results), he got his shots, heartworm pills, an antihistemine topical spray for when the ragweed season hits and a special ear cleaner for when we go to the cottage and he goes swimming, to prevent potential ear infection from the lake.

Plus they trimmed his toenails.

All for just a few hundred dollars…less than a single car payment!

Awesome!!!

As of yesterday, I was planning to go to Toronto tomorrow for that Al Quds shindig….but, I think I will not be able to, because…

… this morning, I woke my family up at an early hour: by screaming from pain.

Usually, I am very good at managing even acute injury pain, but that whole mind over matter thing kind of breaks down a bit while I’m asleep.  So, I did not control my pain response and woke all of us by screaming in pain.

Nothing critical – just a stupid shoulder.

Perhaps this would be a good time to give a bit of history about my stupid shoulder.  It’s been a bit of a bitch for most of my life…

I cracked the cartilage doing martial arts in my teens – but it got better.

During a high-school downhill ski team practice, our coach had us do a human slalom – with the predictable results that someone skied into me and separated that same shoulder.  It got better.

Few years after that, a boyfriend thought I was not affectionate enough and decided to get closer to me.  I fought him off and kicked him out, but, that same shoulder got a little bit busted up as I was persuading him to leave.  After this episode, though I got medical attention and physio and all, and it healed and got strong, the pain never fully went away.   I chalked it up to psychology and sucked it up and worked through the pain – the shoulder was a strong as ever and I did not let it slow down my life.

After all, I broke bones and injured all kinds of joints – if you do sports as actively as I did back then, injuries are par for the course.  You heal and go, on!  When I stopped healing quickly, I had to give up the martial arts and other sports.

Well, a few years ago I had a bit of a fall – I am the clumziest thing that ever lived…  I banged up both shoulders a bit – the same one as above was just separated (again), but the other shoulder was hurt a bit more seriously.  It was quite obviously dislocated.

My poor kids were home with me and tried to help me as best they could. I know from past experience that the faster you re-locate a dislocated joint, the less soft tissue damage there will be.    So, following my instructions, my kids tried to pop the dislocated shoulder back in.  It was a little bit difficult – it seemed to me they succeeded, but then the shoulder would still be out.  Then my hubby arrived and took me to the emergency…

There, they popped it back in.   As I was getting dressed, I knew it was back out –  but it took me a bit to persuade the nurse to listen to me.  Yes, it was out.  And it was out after the next 3 times they tried to put it in, too.    So, finally, they decided to take an x-ray of the shoulder – and found that aside from it being dislocated, that bit of bone that goes into the shoulder had been totally shattered into sharp pointy bits and that every time they tried to shove it back in, they were shredding the soft tissue.

The best solution was surgery.  Except…I had been taking relatively high doses of immunosuppressants and I also happen to be rather allergic to antibiotics – so cutting me open in the hospital was a bit of a risky proposition.  So, I got my arm put into a sling, waited for the bone to mend a bit, and only then had the shoulder put back into place.  And, after a bit pf physiotherapy (I had to sell my car to pay for it, because the physio took longer than the government permitted maximum), but it got that shoulder up to speed.  Yes, it aches and the bone spurs injure the muscle tissue if I don’t care for it properly, but, it got better.

I am not going into this to make you feel sorry for me – just to illustrate that I am not afraid of a little pain and working through it to a good end.

And to explain why, with all the drama of the dislocated shoulder, the other shoulder – the one that’s been my bum shoulder for decades – did not get a lot of attention.  There was something a little more urgent and, frankly, with the pain in the other shoulder and the meds to dull it, it took me a long time to start complaining about it…

In the end, I got physio on that shoulder too (self-funded, of course – I had hit the physio ceiling with my other shoulder).  I regained mobility and all – but, it always remained weaker and achy.  So, I’ve been going easy on it when I do activities like swimming…

Last week, we went on a family holiday up North and swam in lakes.  Chilly, yes, but no problem.  And  we played in the water with cousins and nieces and nephews and the ducks (my 4-year-old nephew had an interesting way of catching minnows in the shallows:  he’d catch them in his hand, then place the caught minnow into his little fishing net…).  We threw frisbees and water balls and all that.

That is, they threw, I’d swim to retrieve the toys if they landed in too deep water.  But, I avoided throwing most of the time as, either arm, throwing stuff is very painful.  Still, one time I did toss a little football with my right arm (the long-term bum shoulder) and something kind of went khrrrrrrr.  But, I kept on in the water to ice it and, aside from being a little more sore than usual, it was fine.

Which brings me to this morning and the rude awakening:  I woke my poor family up by screaming from my sleep – with pain in my right (the long-term-bum) shoulder… Embarrassing as that was, I was rather concerned because I could not move the stupid arm for pain.  Well, that did it for my poor hubby – he packed me up and took me to the same emergency room I went to when I had dislocated my other shoulder a few years ago.

We arrived at the emergency room at 6 am – and there was no other patient there.  Not one.

I want through triage and admin and got sent in to the examination room.

The way this particular ER is layed out is circular, so all the exam rooms are in plain sight.  All the doors were opened and we could see that I was indeed the only patient.

Just under an hour later, a pretty blond doctor perhaps 5 years my junior came in and tried to examine my shoulder.  When she touched it or tried to move my arm, I winced in pain.  So, she said they’d need to administer some painkillers to me so she could examine the shoulder properly.

We were sent to a different room – not one with a bed but one with about 6 chairs in it.  Once there, a nurse came in and gave me a shot of Toradol – a very effective and non-narcotic painkiller (actually, my file at the hospital shows I refused things like morphine in the past, requesting non-narcotic painkillers instead, even naming Toradol in particular, so I presume that that is why they went straight to it – or, hospitals are finally moving towards this new class of highly effective painkillers, which would be a good thing!).

About an hour later, the doctor came back, but found me still in too much pain to examine me ‘properly’ and this time I was given some oral painkiller.  I was beyond caring what it was by this point…   The doc said I’d need an X-ray and/or an MRI to find out what is wrong and that I should get my family doctor to sent me for one.  (When a family doctor sends you for one, the waiting time is roughly 9 months – in the Ottawa area, at least).  Then she left, presumably to let the painkiller kick in so I can be properly examined.

About an hour later, the nurse came and told us to go home.

We were surprised – the doctor had not yet examined the shoulder at all:  she was waiting for the painkillers to kick in so she could do a proper exam!

The nurse informed us that the doctor’s shift was now over and she (the doctor) had told her (the nurse) to tell us to go home.

My gentle giant of a hubby was not very pleased with this – all the doctor did was have me pumped full of drugs, did not examine the shoulder, and was now telling me to go home?  He’d much prefer that my shoulder were actually examined….as it is not a usual thing for me to let other people see my pain, much less scream from it.  The nurse was very empathetic (I suspect she agreed with my hubby) and said she’s see what she could do.

Another 20 minutes later, the same doctor came in and, rather annoyed, told us she had said to go see my family doctor.  My hubby pointed out she had not actually examined the shoulder…at which she touched it in three places and said now that she had examined it, her judgment was that I should wear a sling and go see my family doctor next week and she staked off in a huff!

Not knowing what else to do, we slinked off home.

I still cannot really move my right arm very much for the pain of it…and the pain is spreading in area to affect no longer just the shoulder, but also now the top half of that half of the back…I am afraid to go to sleep because once asleep, I will not be able to suppress my expression of pain and I might scare my family again, like last night!

And, never throughout my history of injuring this shoulder (or the other one – or any other of my joints), never ever have I screamed in pain the way I had this morning.

EVER!

Not even when I would pass out from the pain when I tried to re-locate various dislocated joints by myself, never when they tried to wrench them into place while forgetting to give me pain killers in the past.

EVER!

Now, why is it, exactly, that I am allowed to pay for first class veterinary care for my dog, but I am forbidden from paying  for my own medical care and am left instead to scream from pain?